Consent is the voluntary, enthusiastic, informed, and reversible agreement to participate in an activity. It is the foundation for all sexual play and it’s the fundamental, non-negotiable cornerstone of any safe and ethical Kink practice. Consent is what makes Kink possible. Without consent, it just isn’t Kink.

Our cultural definition of consent has evolved over the years. A few decades ago the absence of “No” was considered valid consent. Today we have a much more respectful and ethical definition with 5 main qualifiers to be considered actual, true consent. Consent must be voluntary, enthusiastic, informed, reversible, and requires clear, active communication.

Consent is voluntary. It is free of coercion, pressure, manipulation, obligation, or force. It is a choice made by each participant without feeling obligated or required to play.

Consent should be expressed with genuine enthusiasm, willingness, and a whole-body “Yes!” It means actively and eagerly participating in the agreed-upon activities, rather than going along with them reluctantly.

Informed consent means all participants know what they’re getting into. Everyone should have a clear understanding of the activities involved, their potential risks, and any boundaries or limits set by the participants. It is crucial to communicate openly, honestly, and transparently about desires, expectations, and potential triggers or concerns.

Consent is reversible at any time for any reason. Consent is not a one-time agreement that we’re bound to. It can be revoked or modified at any point during the interaction. All participants have the right to change their minds, set new boundaries, and withdraw consent. Explanations for withdrawing consent to a Kink situation are not required. “No.” is a complete sentence.

Consent relies on effective and ongoing communication between all parties involved. Actively listening, attention to body language and reactions, and respecting the boundaries, desires, and limits expressed by each individual are all part of maintaining active consent. Communication should be clear and explicit, including the use of safe words, signals, and check-ins throughout the Kink experience.

Remember, consent is a verb. It is something we actively do in the present. It is up to all kinky people to seek out and obtain consent, to honor the boundaries established, and to prioritize the well-being and safety of everyone involved. Consent is the foundation of Kink. Without consent, Kink goes rotten and becomes abuse.

Consent should always be based on mutual respect and equality. Minors, as well as intoxicated, unconscious or otherwise incapacitated persons cannot give consent and therefore, should not be involved in BDSM.