How to Use Foreplay to Improve Your Sex Life

by Eleni Gabrielides

on Jan 15, 2020

Foreplay… While some of us love it, others would rather skip it and move on to the ‘main event’. But, done well, foreplay can be just as good, if not better than sex!

2019.05.14 LH Day 01-668

Even if we don’t like to admit it, foreplay often gets missed out of our bedroom sessions - maybe because we’re in a rush or we’ve settled into a bit of a routine.

Luckily, we’re here to help. We’ve got foreplay ideas for him and her, as well as all the info about the amazing benefits of a little pre-sex fun.

So, whether you want to persuade your partner to join in on the fun or just need some new foreplay tips and ideas, we’ve got you covered.

Why is foreplay so important?

Foreplay is often thought of as the thing you do before sex - the appetizer before the entrée. But this doesn’t have to be the case.

Foreplay can get you or your partner(s) to peak arousal, which can intensify your satisfaction and feel euphoric. It can even get you ready for that big ‘O’.

And that’s not all…

1. It helps with lubrication

Most of the time, the peak arousal that foreplay can cause will help with the lubrication of the vaginal walls, making penetration less painful and more enjoyable - if you’re not a huge fan of foreplay, this reason should convince you to give it a go.

However, stress, hormonal changes and medication are all things that can impact the lubrication of the vagina, so don’t stress if natural lubrication doesn’t happen. That’s why we have lubricants to help us keep everything smooth and comfortable down there.

2. It helps us relax

Yep, that’s right, foreplay can make you feel less stressed.

Acts of foreplay, like kissing, can trigger a release of chemicals in our brains, such as dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin.

This happy chemical cocktail increases feelings of happiness, euphoria, affection and bonding, all of which will make you feel great and really enhance your sexual experience.

Oxytocin (aka the ‘cuddle hormone’) also helps us chill out by reducing levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

3. It builds anticipation

So, we know we just said that foreplay calms you down, but it can also increase the excitement by building anticipation in the bedroom.

A lengthy foreplay session, especially if there’s a lot of teasing and edging involved, is a great way of building up sexual tension.

One of our top foreplay tips for him (and anyone else) is to take your time. Slowly kiss your partner and remove their clothes one by one. This will have them craving your touch and make it even more enjoyable when they finally get it.

4. It can enhance your connection with a partner

Foreplay can be one of the most intimate sexual activities and spending time getting to know your partner’s body can make them feel desired and attractive - everyone loves feeling good about themselves.

So, whether you’re with a long-term partner or something more casual, the feelings of intimacy that come from a good, long foreplay feast can seriously enhance whatever else you’re exploring during your sessions.

5. It increases sensitivity

Foreplay is a great time to have a play around with stimulating different areas of the body, such as the nipples, clitoris or testicles. This can actually increase the blood flow to the genitals and the breasts, making these already sensitive areas even more so.

Not only will this feel amazing in the moment, but the increased sensitivity foreplay creates can make the rest of your play that much more pleasurable.

6. It can improve communication

Sexual consent is super important, particularly if you’re exploring something new. But, even you’ve been with your partner for years, it can feel a bit awkward asking in the heat of the moment.

Enter foreplay.

Foreplay can be the best time to have open conversations about consent and expectations before things start moving too quickly.

7. It’s a good time to learn something

Spending more time on foreplay can help us learn a whole lot about our partner’s body, not to mention our own!

The best foreplay tips to drive her (or anyone) crazy can involve exploring your partner’s erogenous zones with sensory toys to see how they react.

8. It can help you switch things up

Last, but not least, foreplay is fantastic for spicing things up in the bedroom.

Routine sex can be fantastic - the familiarity of knowing your body and your partner’s, and what you both like is so hot! But sometimes, changing things up can be a great way to keep things exciting.

So, now you know just how good foreplay is for us, are you ready to find out how to have better foreplay?

Foreplay tips and ideas

Okay, so we know how good foreplay can be for us - what’s next?

There’s no how-to when it comes to foreplay; anything that gets you aroused counts as foreplay.

Whether you like kissing or BDSM play, there are endless options when it comes to foreplay.

If you’re looking for some inspo, here are 10 of our favorite foreplay tips and ideas to help you turn up the heat.

Tip 1. Date night


If you’re new to foreplay, date night can be a great place to start.

Book a nice restaurant or plan something romantic at home to set the scene for the night of pleasure ahead. Once you’re both in the mood, you can move on to something more enticing.

Remember, foreplay is anything that gets you hot under the collar. So, whether you like a lengthy make-out sesh or are a fan of some under-the-table footsie, feel free to get creative.

Tip 2. Bring in some BDSM


Looking for slightly more risque foreplay tips to help you spice things up with your partner? Why not try out some light BDSM?

From bondage to power play, exploring BDSM with a partner can be a great way to turn up the heat and start exploring the world of kink.

For some basic domination, we recommend using a blindfold. Have your partner wear it and then tease them with kisses until they’re begging you for more.

Just make sure you check in with your partner and get their consent prior to experimenting with any kinky foreplay tips and ideas.

Tip 3. Add toys


Bringing sex toys into your bedroom routine can be a great way to get to know your partner’s body and what gets them going.

Adding toys is one of the best foreplay tips to drive her (or him) crazy and enhance your partner’s pleasure during play.

Try some remote-controlled toys to take charge of your partner’s orgasms, or watch your lover pleasure themselves with their favorite vibe.

For more inspo, take a look at our Top 10 Best Sex Toys for Couples.

Tip 4. Give oral a go


We couldn’t give you a list of foreplay tips and ideas and not talk about oral sex.

Oral can be enjoyable for both penis and vulva owners, stimulating the most sensitive erogenous zones. In fact, vulva-owners that consistently receive good, attentive oral sex from their partners can even have a better chance of reaching the big ‘O’.

But, remember that orgasms aren’t the be-all and end-all of every sexy session you and your partner have - it’s okay if you just want to sit back and enjoy the ride.

Tip 5. Try role play

60186_a33721_blue_regular_000 (1)

Use foreplay to explore your wildest fantasies by engaging in some role play.

Whether you’ve always wanted to play doctor and naughty nurse with your partner, or pretend you’re strangers and hook-up in the bar, role play is one of the best foreplay tips for setting the scene for your session and enhancing intimacy with your partner.

Add a sexy costume to take your scenes to the next level.

Tip 6. Dress it up


Who doesn’t love an excuse to dress up? From your favorite outfit to some sexy lingerie, dressing up is a foreplay tip that both of you can enjoy.

Not only can it make you feel amazing, but seeing you in a killer outfit can make your partner feel pretty hot too.

Tip 7. Take it off


And, putting on sexy clothing isn’t the only thing you can do... Performing a sexy striptease can be a great way to turn your partner on before or as part of foreplay. Or, let them undress you and enjoy their hands all over your body.

Tip 8. Set the mood

tracey cox massage 500x

If you want to start experimenting with foreplay, setting the mood can be a great way to ease into it.

Use candles to create some mood lighting or put on a seriously sexy playlist to set the tone.

You can also use erotic massage to get things moving and initiate physical touch. A sexy massage can help your partner relax if they struggle to be in the moment.

So, put on some sexy tunes and tell your lover to get comfortable.

Tip 9. Get the games out


Games can be a fun and non-intimidating way to shake up a routine and build anticipation. So, If you’re struggling to think of foreplay tips and ideas, why not plan a sexy games night with your OH.

Throw some sex dice to get some foreplay inspo, or crack out a sexy board game and let the cards decide what you’re doing tonight.

Tip 10. Talk dirty to me


Our final tip is for beginners and foreplay veterans alike, and is perfect for anyone looking to try something new.

Dirty talk can feel intimidating if you’ve never tried it before but can have many benefits once the words start flowing. Just like some spicy visuals or sensations can get us in the mood, we also get turned on by what we hear. Plus, it’s a great way to improve communication during your sessions.

If you’re worried about saying the wrong thing, check out our ultimate guide to talking dirty.

Eleni Gabrielides

Written by Eleni Gabrielides.

Originally published on Jan 15, 2020. Updated on Aug 5, 2020