5 Things They Never Tell You About Anal Play

by Audrey Andrews

on Jan 8, 2019

5 Things They Never Tell You About Anal Play

Anal play is classified as any sexual activity involving the anus and is sometimes used to referred to sexual activities that incorporate the butt in general.

Homosexuality and anal sex was legalized in the US in 2003.

Ignorant and homophobic attitudes still exist, but many organizations and individuals are dedicated to fighting against them.

So, there's no reason to shy away from the topic of anal sex, and there's no reason not to bust some major myths about booty action.

Here are 5 things they never tell you about anal play.

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Not All Straight Men Are into Anal Play

The sitcom troupe of the hetero male begging his girlfriend for anal sex is old.

Not all heterosexual guys are chasing after bum-based action, and it’s wrong to believe that they are.

Every person has their individual sexual preferences, and when you just assume, you make an ass out of you and me (especially when it comes to ass-based activity).


Women Do Enjoy Anal Play

By the same token that not all straight men are into anal play, lots of women do enjoy it.

Pop culture would have us believe that women just tolerate anal play in order to please their partners – and it’s just not true.

Anal play can feel especially good for women, not just because of all the pleasurable nerve endings that surround the anus (more on that later), but also because of the clitoris.

What we can see of the clitoris is just the tip of the iceberg. It extends behind the vaginal wall and is shaped kind of like a wishbone.

For some people, the arms of that wishbone extend down by the anus, so it’s possible to stimulate the clitoris via booty play!


Anal play doesn’t “make you gay”

Everybody has an anus. So, why would anal play just be for gay men?

The sensations you find pleasurable have nothing to do with your sexual orientation. If anything, what you find pleasurable is down to your physiology.

We know that the best way to stimulate the prostate is via the anus (and that’s why there are so many incredible prostate massagers to choose from).

Many men, regardless of their sexuality, have reported that the orgasms they experience as a result of anal play feel more powerful.

There’s no reason to deprive yourself of an experience you enjoy, there’s no such thing as “making” somebody gay.

It’s like saying eating a Yorkshire pudding will make you Northern – utter nonsense!


Women Can Orgasm Via Anal Play

Only 20-30% of women orgasm from penis-in-vagina sex.

Yet so much of pornography is women having screaming-orgasms just five minutes into penetration.

Come on, adult film directors! Lift your game.

Every woman’s pelvic nerve branches out in a different way, so don’t feel like there is something wrong with you if penetration alone won’t cut the mustard.

The anal walls are rich with nerve endings, and it could very well be the area that brings on your Big O.

Want to test the waters? Check out these four mind-blowing anal toys.


Anal play shouldn’t hurt

I think we are conditioned to expect that anal play will be slightly painful to some degree, and that pain is just the price to pay if we want to involve our bums in the bedroom.

This belief is problematic because pain is the body’s way of telling us that we need to stop what we’re doing at once!

If people believe that you need to put up with pain during anal play, someone’s going to end up seriously hurt.

Anal play shouldn’t hurt.

If it feels uncomfortable, you may need to use more lubricant, you may need to go slower or use a finger or small anal toy to begin with until your bum gets used to the sensation.


If you’re looking to make your debut into the world of anal play, don’t believe everything you hear at first.

Unfortunately, the bum was once an extremely taboo topic. But in 2019, everyone should have access to accurate information about the joys of anal play.

*Audrey Andrews is a student blogger for Lovehoney. In her spare time she loves to do craft, but would not advise knitting your own condoms.

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Audrey Andrews

Written by Audrey Andrews.

Originally published on Jan 8, 2019. Updated on Aug 5, 2020
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