Coping With Cuffing Season

Summer is over and the days are steadily growing shorter and colder, which can only mean one thing: cuffing season is upon us.

The phenomenon of proud singletons suddenly starting to crave a relationship once the colder months creep in seems to be a staple of modern dating, with an average of 40.5k monthly Google searches for ‘cuffing season’. But just how many of us are affected by this seasonal change in desires, and why?

We’ve picked the brains of a relationship expert to reveal the truth behind our sudden desire for intimacy during certain seasons, as well as surveying over 2,000 adults to find out how their dating goals change throughout the year.

The psychology behind cuffing season

To find out if there really is a scientific explanation for the popularity of cuffing season, we spoke to registered BPS psychologist Lilly Sabir.

According to Lilly, craving a relationship in winter is mostly because of social pressures rather than any evolutionary desire. “It can be caused by the pressure to be in a relationship during the holidays, so we’re not alone and have someone to connect with. However, it can be argued that as a species we are designed on a very basic instinctual level to be with others as loneliness can kill, and we feel those lows in emotion particularly in the seasonal holidays.”

The lack of sunlight and colder temperatures associated with the winter months can trigger a craving for human contact to help combat the loneliness and low mood we may feel. “Winter promotes this isolation and lack of energy that we don’t experience typically in summer,” Lilly says. “There is an evolutionary psychological need for people to crave the literal heat generated by being in a relationship. Having a dependable body next to yours makes you feel comfortable, safe, and, yes, warm.”

So, there you have it - our desire for closeness as the days grow colder really does have a rational explanation behind it.

Nearly 60% of adults want to be coupled up during the winter months

If you’ve ever found yourself falling victim to cuffing season, you’re not alone. In fact, you’re not even in the minority. We found that 58% of people who took our survey admitted that they would prefer to be in a relationship during the winter months, compared to 51% who said the same about summer. This increase may be small but it’s definitely there, proving that the change in seasons does indeed come with a heightened craving for romance.

And while women may be traditionally thought of as the biggest romantics, our survey results tell a different story: almost two-thirds (65%) of men said they would rather be coupled up than single during winter, compared to just 56% of women and 59% of non-binary people.

Speaking of non-binary people, they seem to be the most susceptible to cuffing season. Only 37% of non-binary people said they would prefer to be in a relationship than single during summer, but this figure rose to just under 60% during winter.

Summer is a distant memory and the days are have grown shorter and colder, which can only mean one thing: cuffing season is upon us.

The phenomenon of proud singletons suddenly starting to crave a relationship once the colder months creep in seems to be a staple of modern dating, with an average of 40.5k monthly Google searches for ‘cuffing season’. But just how many of us are affected by this seasonal change in desires, and why?

We’ve picked the brains of a relationship expert to reveal the truth behind our sudden desire for intimacy during certain seasons, as well as surveying over 2,000 adults to find out how their dating goals change throughout the year.

The psychology behind cuffing season

To find out if there really is a scientific explanation for the popularity of cuffing season, we spoke to registered BPS psychologist Lilly Sabir.

According to Lilly, craving a relationship in winter is mostly because of social pressures rather than any evolutionary desire. “It can be caused by the pressure to be in a relationship during the holidays, so we’re not alone and have someone to connect with. However, it can be argued that as a species we are designed on a very basic instinctual level to be with others as loneliness can kill, and we feel those lows in emotion particularly in the seasonal holidays.”

The lack of sunlight and colder temperatures associated with the winter months can trigger a craving for human contact to help combat the loneliness and low mood we may feel. “Winter promotes this isolation and lack of energy that we don’t experience typically in summer,” Lilly says. “There is an evolutionary psychological need for people to crave the literal heat generated by being in a relationship. Having a dependable body next to yours makes you feel comfortable, safe, and, yes, warm.”

So, there you have it – our desire for closeness as the days grow colder really does have a rational explanation behind it.

Nearly 60% of adults want to be coupled up during the winter months

If you’ve ever found yourself falling victim to cuffing season, you’re not alone. In fact, you’re not even in the minority. We found that 58% of people who took our survey admitted that they would prefer to be in a relationship during the winter months, compared to 51% who said the same about summer. This increase may be small but it’s definitely there, proving that the change in seasons does indeed come with a heightened craving for romance.

And while women may be traditionally thought of as the biggest romantics, our survey results tell a different story: almost two-thirds (65%) of men said they would rather be coupled up than single during winter, compared to just 56% of women and 59% of non-binary people.

Speaking of non-binary people, they seem to be the most susceptible to cuffing season. Only 37% of non-binary people said they would prefer to be in a relationship than single during summer, but this figure rose to just under 60% during winter.

Interestingly, older millennials are more impacted by cuffing season than any other age group, with 63% of 35-44 year olds admitting they would prefer to be romantically involved with someone during this time of year. Meanwhile, just 52% of 18-24 year olds said the same, meaning Gen Z are least likely to give into the lure of cuffing season.

Lesbian and pansexual people are most likely to change their dating goals for winter

Lesbian and pansexual people seem to have their sights set on a ‘hot girl summer’, but are also most likely to change their minds when winter starts to set in. Only 30% of lesbians and 21% of pansexual people said they’d want to be in a relationship in the summer season, but come winter these figures jumped to over half (56%) of lesbians and just under 40% of pansexual people.

Gay people also experience quite a big change of heart as the seasons shift, from 35% saying they want a relationship in summer, to 52% in winter. Meanwhile, straight and bisexual people are most likely to want a relationship all year round (over half in summer, and 60% in winter).

Taurus and Leo are most affected by cuffing season

Wondering how your star sign might affect your dating life throughout the year? Well, if you’re a Taurus or a Leo, you might be more likely to fall victim to cuffing season.

These are the signs most likely to crave a romantic connection during winter according to our survey, with over 60% of Taureans and Leos saying they’d prefer to be seeing someone at this time of year (compared to just over 50% in summer). Taurus and Leo are both very loyal signs with a lot of love to give, so it makes sense that they would be particularly susceptible to an increased desire for romance.

On the other end of the spectrum are Virgo and Scorpio, who seem to be the least affected. Still, over half (54%) of these signs said they would rather be loved-up during winter than spend those cold nights alone, so even they aren’t totally immune.

Christmas makes us crave closeness more than any other time of year

‘Tis the season to be jolly… and to be in a relationship, apparently!

Our survey revealed that Christmas inspires more of an appetite for intimacy than any other time of year, with 60% of survey takers expressing a desire to be in a relationship during the festive season. Given that Christmas falls in the middle of winter, perhaps this explains why cuffing season has such a strong grip on us.

“Winter has a lot of holidays, and during holidays social media and the TV tend to paint a picture of how those holidays ‘should’ look; which is with a partner,” says dating and relationships expert, Callisto Adams. “Being alone and single while seeing those everyday for months makes it pretty difficult to stand strong and resist the idea of what the media tries to portray.”

That might explain why a lot of us are also seeking someone to kiss at midnight on New Year’s Eve, with 59% of adults saying they would rather not be single for NYE celebrations. A further 59% said the same about their birthday, which makes sense - a relationship means more presents, right? Sign us up!

Cuffing season survival guide: The dos and don’ts

Cuffing season can be tricky to navigate. With an increased desire (or even desperation) for a relationship comes an increased risk of heartbreak, which becomes more likely when we enter into a relationship for all the wrong reasons.

“Considering that most people get in relationships just for the sake of not being alone during this period of time, chances are that they’ll be more exposed to heartbreak,” Callisto Adams says on the dangers of cuffing season relationships. “It’s a behavior motivated by illusion, hence there are a lot of chances for that to not end as well as we imagine.”

So, what are some of the dos and don’ts of cuffing season to help us avoid that painful ending?

Don’t settle

“Don’t settle just to get rid of that feeling of loneliness,” Callisto says. “Instead, have an honest talk with yourself on whether a partner is what you really want/need.

“If you’re having an ‘urge’ to find a partner, see within yourself if that idea is being imposed on you by the surroundings or if it’s an internal longing for connection.”

Do be honest with yourself and potential partners

“Consider your intentions and the other person’s feelings before you jump into a relationship or romantic connection. Be straight and forward about what you’re looking for and what your intentions are.”

Think things through carefully, and be honest with yourself about whether you really do want a relationship or whether it’s just outside pressures making you feel this way. “Think if you really need and want that connection, that relationship. What would you get from that relationship besides the escape from feeling lonely?”

Do prioritize yourself

Feeling lonely can be tough, but try taking the time to improve your relationship with yourself first before looking to others for comfort.

“Reconsider the idea of ‘alone undisturbed time’. That might look like reading books in your own peace and calm while having hot chocolate.” Or, it might involve engaging in some solo play to reconnect with your own desires.

Whatever shape your alone time takes, make sure it’s about you, and no one else. You might find that you’re the only one you need, after all.