Everything You Need to Know About Fisting

Everything You Need to Know About Fisting

by Lovehoney

on Sep 27, 2020

Always wondered 'what does fisting mean?' Let us, with a little help from Ian here, explain. "Fisting [is the] sexual practice in which someone's entire hand and all five fingers are inserted into the vagina or rectum," says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., sex therapist and author of She Comes First.

There is a lot more to fisting than meets the eye, and a lot of pleasure that can be enjoyed from it.

If you’re intrigued by the idea of fisting, but are hesitant to dive in head (or fist) first, let us answer your questions and remove a few veils of the taboo shroud that surrounds it.

What is Fisting?

Always wondered 'what does fisting mean?' Let us, with a little help from Ian here, explain. "Fisting [is the] sexual practice in which someone's entire hand and all five fingers are inserted into the vagina or rectum," says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., sex therapist and author of She Comes First.

That's right. Fisting involves using all of the fingers on one hand to penetrate and pleasure an orifice. What is vaginal fisting? Vaginal fisting involves vaginally penetrating someone with your whole hand, and the same act applies to anal fisting, except it's in the anus, not the vagina.

Vaginal and anal fisting exist beyond the realms of porn, and for many it's a go-to for a feeling of pleasurable fullness. For others, the draw of both vaginal and anal fisting is that it really hits their internal hot spots, be it the G-spot or P-spot.

Although hands and fingers can do a very good job of 'fisting', there are many fisting dildos to choose from if you'd prefer to use a replica of someone else's hand or indeed a fake hand.

How to fist yourself

1. Prep your Body: If you're vaginal fisting, ensure you empty your bladder as this will keep things more comfortable. If you're anal fisting, we recommend you cleanse your anus before you begin for a mess-free and hygienic experience. Our How to Use an Anal Douche guide gives you a step-by-step guide on effective anal cleansing.

2. Get a Manicure: Well-groomed hands are a must for fisting. Double, if not triple-check that your nails are short, smooth and properly filed to avoid any internal scratches or abrasions.

But even with well-washed hands and trimmed nails, gloves are always the safer option as they add an extra layer of safety when it comes to hygiene, and also smoothness. Buy gloves with a snug fit, and if you have a latex allergy, go for a nitrile glove (synthetic rubber) option. And remember to remove jewellery to avoid any unwanted travel of your blings!

3. Lube Up: You're going to need a lot of lube. Whether it's fisting lube, good old water-based lube or anal lube, just make sure you use plenty of it. Plentiful moisture is an absolute essential for fisting to go smoothly, whether vaginal or anal fisting.

Apply plenty before and during if needed - there can never be enough lube when it comes to pleasurable, safe fisting. With so much lube involved, it can become a little on the messy side, so put a towel down to avoid your sheets getting ruined.

4. Warm Up: A little bit of self-pleasuring is essential as a prelude to fisting if it's to go smoothly. Take your time, use your go-to way of self-pleasuring - whether it's just your fingers or your favourite toy to get you in the mood - and pick a time that you'll be free from unwanted interruptions without a time limit.

5. It's in the Shape: Despite what the term 'fisting' suggests, we don't suggest forming your hand into the shape of a fist when it comes to the act of fisting. Instead, we recommend you bring all of your fingers together and tuck your thumb in to create a cone shape. This creates much-needed dexterity and aids gradual penetration of the vagina or anus.

Twist your cone-shaped hand gently from side to side to ease it in. It's key to remember that fisting needs to be slow and gradual, so if you can't get your whole hand in, or even all of your fingers, whatever you do, don't force it. Take your time and only penetrate with what feels comfortable.

6. Start Small: The smallest of movements feel big when it comes to fisting, so small circular movements of your wrist or a gentle wiggle of your knuckles or fingers is enough to make big waves of sensation. Once used to the sensation of fullness, you can release your fingers a little for more targeted stimulation and pressure on the G-spot or P-spot.

7. Time for a Toy?: If a fisting dildo holds more appeal than using your own hand, follow the above steps (apart from trimming your nails!), remember that toys can't 'feel their way' so take it extra slowly, and be sure to clean it with antibacterial sex toy cleaner before and after use.

How to Fist Someone Else

1. Prep their Body: If you're fisting someone with a vagina, ask them to empty their bladder beforehand to keep things comfortable for them. If you're anally fisting your partner, we recommend they cleanse their anus before you begin for a clean and mess-free experience. Our How to Use an Anal Douche guide gives you all of the information you need for effective anal cleansing.

2. Wear Gloves: Even if you wash your hands thoroughly before your fisting sessions begins, there's still the risk of causing internal abrasions from nails. Gloves are the safer option, especially if you're fisting someone else as they provide an extra layer of protection, hygiene and smoothness.

Choose gloves that have a snug fit and if you or your partner have a latex allergy, go for a nitrile glove option. Also, removal of jewellery for the 'giver' or 'fister' is an absolute must as you don't want any stray jewels up there!

3. Lube Up: Lube, lube and more lube. You can never have enough lube when it comes to fisting, whether you choose a fisting lube, good old water-based lube or anal lube. Apply plenty to your hand or glove, as well as your partner, and reapply during the session if needed for the fisting to go as smoothly as possible. And with a lot of lube involved, it can become a little messy, so putting a towel down beforehand will avoid your sheets getting ruined.

4. Foreplay. And More Foreplay. And then some more: Before you begin, your partner needs to be really aroused and it's important that the foreplay ahead of fisting is done slowly and not rushed in order to start the fisting. If you know your partner well, you'll already know what turns them on, and if you're just getting to know them intimately, communication is the key to learning about what gets them in the mood.

5. Are they ready?: Ask if your partner is ready for you to start. Start with just one or a couple of fingers and slowly add more until you've penetrated with 4 fingers. It's imperative that your partner listens to their body and communicates what feels good and comfortable at all times.

Now here comes the tricky part. When both you and your partner are ready, tuck your thumb in and try and elongate your fist by bringing all of your fingers together to create a cone shape. This will allow for a lot more dexterity and aid gentle and gradual penetration of the vagina or anus. Twist it gently from side to side to ease your fist in.

It's important to remember that the art of fisting is a slow and gradual process, so if you can't get your whole hand in, or even all of your fingers, whatever you do, don't force it. If your partner ever mentions any pain or discomfort, be sure to stop immediately.

6. Small Waves: Just the tiniest of movements feel big, so sticking with small circular movements of your wrist or a subtle wiggle of your knuckles or fingers is plenty to make big waves of sensation. Once your partner is used to the new sensation of extra fullness, release your fingers a little for targeted stimulation and pressure on the G-spot or P-spot.

7.Hand or Toy?: If a fisting dildo holds more appeal to you and your partner, follow the above steps (apart from trimming your nails!) and be sure to clean it with antibacterial sex toy cleaner before and after use.

Does Fisting Hurt?

If the correct steps (as above) are followed, the answer is no - it can be gentle, sensual and fulfilling.

When people hear the term 'fisting', they often assume it's a case of roughly ramming a fist in, but this isn't how it works.

So when does fisting feel good? When you take it nice and slow, and approach it as a very gradual process. Listen to your own body or your partner before, during and after each fisting session to learn about what feels good, a little uncomfortable or downright incredible to create positive only experiences.

What Does Double Fisting mean?

The more experienced fans of fisting may take two fists aka double fisting. When two hands come into play, the pleasure of the penetrated person is derived more from the stretching of the vagina or anus, as opposed to the movement of the hands as they penetrate.

Fisting toys and essentials

Lovehoney

Written by Lovehoney. For collaborative posts between Lovehoney team members and guest authors
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Originally published on Sep 27, 2020. Updated on Nov 17, 2020
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