How Sex Toys Can Make You Feel More Confident

by Lovehoney

on Mar 13, 2018

How Sex Toys Can Make You More Confident

From recreating oral sex, to mimicking the thrusting motions of penetrative sex, and even to replicating a rim job, there's a lot that sex toys are capable of.

Sex toys are amazing - full stop. But when it comes to upping your sexual confidence, they can make a real difference.

From orgasming for the first time, to improving your communication abilities, here are some of the ways a sex toy can boost your confidence.

Sex toys = better sex

Sex toys, lubes and other essentials all have one exciting purpose in life: to give you the best sex possible, whether that’s solo or with a partner. Orgasms release oxytocin, the ‘love hormone’ which, besides enhancing the feeling of bonding with a partner, also helps relieve tension and stimulates feelings of intimacy and happiness.

If you’re experiencing amazing orgasms with a partner, those bonding chemicals will help the formation of trust between the pair of you, and that means you’ll feel more at ease with each other and ultimately more confident.

More communication, more confidence

Owning a sex toy and knowing how to use it to its full potential can help you to find out what turns you on (and gets you off) most easily.

Being aware of your sexual desires, preferences and penchants, and communicating these with a partner, can result in both parties feeling a lot more confident in the bedroom.

Take the pressure off

Sex toys aren’t replacement partners. In fact, an overwhelming number of them are amazing toys for couples, designed to pleasure both partners during sex. And even the ones designed predominantly for solo use can be great to use together.

Performance anxiety can affect anyone and, given that 4 out of 5 struggle to orgasm from penetrative intercourse, and 1 in 3 women have trouble achieving orgasm at all, it’s no wonder that both partners might feel the pressure. Involving sex toys in your play can help both partners to enjoy a blissful finish, easing any concerns or worries you might have, and improving confidence in the bedroom.

Taking charge of your sexuality

Owning a sex toy can be a wonderful act of self-empowerment. It’s a step forward in owning your sexuality and ensuring your own sexual satisfaction, and this in itself can be confidence boosting.

Whether it’s an act of independence, sexual empowerment, or even something as simple as treating yourself - much like you might with a nice haircut or new shoes - saying ‘I deserve this,’ reaffirms your self-worth which is fundamental in feeling confident.

Practice makes perfect

While not often spoken about, statistics show that at least 30% of the population - young and old - have been affected by premature ejaculation at some point. It’s caused by a variety of things from stress, medication, age to confidence. If you’ve ever suffered from it, you'll know how it can really knock how you feel about sex with a partner.

Luckily, there are lots of techniques and tools designed to help and provide both long-term and short-term relief. Try a stroker and practise edging, the technique of almost bringing yourself to orgasm. Working towards delaying your climax and improving your sexual stamina is great for banishing those bedroom worries and cranking up your confidence levels.

Brave a blindfold

Sex toys like blindfolds are perfect for building bedroom confidence. Covering your partner’s eyes can immediately soothe any body or performance insecurities you might have. You can feel happy and free to engage in sexual activity, feeling as confident as possible.

Plus, removing someone’s sense of sight will heighten their other senses, so you’ll have a partner who’s super receptive to your every move and touch, making for an amped-up, thrill-filled bedroom experience.

If you’ve got any tips and tricks to feeling confident in the bedroom, or you want to tell us what’s made you most confident from your toy box, leave a comment below - we’d love to hear from you.

You may also like:


Written by Lovehoney. For collaborative posts between Lovehoney team members and guest authors
Covering simply everything

Originally published on Mar 13, 2018. Updated on Aug 5, 2020