A Customer Sent Us A Love Poem - And We Wrote Back! (AKA: Lovehoney Rap Battle)

A Customer Sent Us A Love Poem - And We Wrote Back! (AKA: Lovehoney Rap Battle)

by Lovehoney

on Mar 25, 2015

A Customer Sent Us A Love Poem - And We Wrote Back! (AKA: Lovehoney Rap Battle)It's a well known fact that Lovehoney customers are the best around, and I love sharing with you the nice comments our team receive daily, as well as the occasional hilarious drawings we get in the post.

Just last week, Customer Care advisor Chelsea (right) was manning the Live Chat function when she received a veritable Lovehoney love poem from a kind customer:

Lovehoney.com is THE one
Clothes to please and some to tease
Silks and satins I don't look fat in
Frills and bows, for anything goes
Men and women both enjoy a
sexy Lovehoney toy
Thank you Lovehoney
You can have my money
You give me pleasure
For my leisure
You help me feel in the mood
All is fun and never crude.

Of course, Chelsea couldn't not return the favour… Read on below for her hilarious response!

Chelsea not only wrote a poem back to the lovely customer, she also gave them some cheeky Oh! Points for being such a good sport. Here's her response:

Hello there,
This is 
Customer Care
We are so glad
You find our stuff rad
Lovehoney is our name
Pleasure is our game
Be it 
satin or lace knickers,
Our service couldn't be quicker
Or our 
lubes any slicker!
For effort, we deserve a gold sticker!
Where compliments are due
Let's give some to you
For your honesty and loyalty
You deserve some royalties
Please check your account
And find a 
dildo to mount
For you have earned some 
Which we are happy to anoint
So have a good day
And have a little play
And let me just say
We hope you and your pleasure is here to stay!

Feeling inspired? Leave your own rhyme about Lovehoney in the comments (no bad language please!) and we'll choose our favorite to win a Small Lovehoney Lockable Sex Toy Case.

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Written by Lovehoney. For collaborative posts between Lovehoney team members and guest authors
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Originally published on Mar 25, 2015. Updated on Aug 5, 2020