Lovehoney Sex Expert Interview: Alicia Sinclair

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1. Aside from being a highly respected Sex Expert, you've also created your own brands housed under COTR, Inc., b-Vibe, Le Wand, and The Cowgirl. What inspired you to create each distinct line of pleasure products and how can couples experience the most pleasure from using them together?

For each COTR, Inc. brand, we set out to bring innovation to an outdated category in the sex toy market.

b-Vibe was created to address a lack of brands focusing exclusively on anal play. Wand vibrators were still being referred to as massagers, so we created Le Wand to own the fact that it's a sex toy. And when we noticed the sex machines on the market were using outdated technology and lacked important design features, we created The Cowgirl.

Most importantly, each of these brands puts products on the market that are created by a women/femme-led team. For far too long, the people creating the sex toys for vulvas didn't have vulvas themselves.

We're connecting directly with what our customer wants, and adding educational materials to ensure they have the best experience possible.

With each of our products, couples can experience new sensations together. From purchasing the toy together, to then actually using it, each step of adding a toy to your sex life is a new, exciting experience. That "something new" can help couples rekindle the spark. Not to mention, sex toys feel really good!

2. What are some of your very best practical tips to help couples fully express themselves to each other sexually?

Communication is the number one way for couples to be more honest with each other and themselves about what they want sexually. So many people experience shame about their sexual desires.

After being a sex educator and in the adult industry for over 15 years, I can say with confidence that whatever it is you want in bed, you're not alone. More often than not, your partner will be excited to make those fantasies come true.

I always suggest framing your desires as a sexy adventure, rather than a demand. "Do you want to try this together?" can be a lot more inviting than "This is something I want." Giving your partner the opportunity to opt-in respects their boundaries, and is more likely to result in a yes.

3. What myths can you debunk about anal play? What do you find that most people need to know?

Oh, where do I begin?! There is so much misinformation about anal play. One of the most important things to remember about anal play is that lube is a requirement, not a suggestion – the anus does not naturally lubricate like a vulva.

There is a myth that anal play is supposed to hurt, and that's simply not true. Don't tolerate or endure the discomfort, always add more lube if something doesn't feel right!

There's also a myth that liking anal play is a sign of your sexual orientation (i.e. only gay men like anal sex), or that it says something about you as a person (i.e. you're dirty, a slut, easy).

Your sexual preferences do not define you. The anus has tons of nerve endings – it's an exciting part of your anatomy to explore. Everyone has a butt, and everyone has the right to sexual pleasure – give yourself permission to explore your amazing body!

4. How can incorporating toys into the bedroom help strengthen and increase the level of play in a couple's sex life?

I like to say that sex toys are the chocolate sauce on the ice cream. They're never going to be the ice cream – connecting with another person, feeling their skin against yours, those are all amazing feelings. But sex toys can make it even more delicious.

70% of people with vulvas need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Often, this isn't being met during penetrative sex, particularly for heterosexual couples. Sex toys can add that extra stimulation to ensure that both partners are experiencing the maximum amount of pleasure. They also open the door to experiment with stimulating different parts of the body, like the anus, nipples, inner thighs... the list goes on!

5. What's your very favorite bedroom advice to give couples?

Education is key. Especially with a new sexual adventure, it's helpful to learn from people who have experimented with that type of play before!

Whether you do research on your own before presenting something new to a partner, or you go down a research hole together, being prepared is guaranteed to make the experience more enjoyable. And as you're connecting with the information, you're bound to connect even more with each other.

P.S. If you're looking for more sex tips and tricks, follow me on Instagram.

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