Sometimes it seems there can be a real 'us' and 'them' attitude, when it comes to vanillas (people who engage in conventional sex, often, it is interpreted as sex which does not involve such elements as BDSM, kink, or fetish activities) and kinksters (according to Wikipedia: "Kinky practices go beyond what are considered conventional 'vanilla' sexual practices as a means of heightening the intimacy between sexual partners.")
If you’re one you can’t be the other, right? You should never let it be known you occasionally associate with the opposing side… It’s also assumed if you’re on one side you think the other is less than worthy.
Breaking it down to basic stereotypes, vanillas think kinksters are scary and weird. Kinksters think vanillas are unadventurous and boring.
"Vanillas" might not be as open about sexual proclivities, but that doesn't mean what they do in private is much different from activities kinky people engage in. Crossing over to the kinky side is not necessarily black and white.
I can’t tell you how many times a self-identified vanilla has asked me, “How do I tell my partner I want some new things in bed? I’ve never told them I like some light spanks and nibbles. I’d love for them to take charge a bit more and be more demanding. I also really enjoy role-playing, but I don’t think I’m into, like, *makes the face* BDSM or anything. All that crazy stuff is just too freaky for me!”
I’m not sure what most people think BDSM is? Let’s break down the acronym and examine a few “other side” observations about BDSM.
Guest post by Sunny Megatron