Recently, we were asked the question: "How does one begin to feel sex positive when sex has not always been a positive experience?". So we reached out to therapist and coach Esther De La Ford for her advice on how to rediscover your sexual happiness.
If I could give anyone who has experienced sexual trauma only 2 pieces of advice, it would be these.
Let yourself completely off the hook. Ditch expectations. Be open to the high possibility of tears, breakdowns, and your body and brain just not playing ball sometimes. Then love yourself anyway.
Throw everything you've got at it and see what sticks. Don't only try one mindfulness technique, or go to a few sessions at a Rape and Sexual Abuse Clinic you're not really into, or read the first 3 chapters of a tantra book a mate suggested and then forget about it. Try EVERYTHING. This is your life, your body, your sexual wellbeing. It deserves everything you've got.
These are the two pieces of advice I would give if we were meeting in a pub toilet and didn't have very long to chat, but thankfully we have a bit more time here.
So here are my top tips for cultivating a healthy space to start enjoying sex again after sexual trauma.
Buying something with the sole intention of using it in the bedroom to enhance your sex life is, well, a real commitment to your sex life and partner.
There’s a whole sea of guides and articles with recommendations of sex toys for heterosexual couples, but these may well be met with a blank stare if you’re in a lesbian or gay relationship.
Many sex toys can be used by any ‘body’, alone or with a partner, but to help you find the best of the best sex toys for female-female couples and male-male couples, we’ve scoured our customer reviews, sought advice from our community members and spoken to our in-house experts.
Put your hands together for the line up of the best sex toys for same-sex couples:
Here at Lovehoney, we talk about foreplay A LOT (and for a good reason too!).
Much more than just some sexual appetizer that you quickly wolf down before the main course, foreplay is a crucial part of experiencing great sex.
Foreplay gives both your body and mind a chance to become fully aroused. This mounting anticipation means that when it's time for the main event, you'll be champing at the bit!
We hear about general foreplay tips all the time, but we ask you, dear reader – where's all the helpful advice on incredible anal foreplay?
Although it is literally located in the rear, when it comes to foreplay tips, the butt is sometimes being left behind. Well, we won't stand for it, so here are eight of the best anal foreplay tips. Bottoms up!
Summer is offically upon us, and for many of us that means dusting off your sequinned cape in preparation for festival season.
Whether you're shaking your sparkle-encrusted booty at Bestival (it's called a glitter bum, look it up), or heading to Shambala to frolic in fancy dress, festivals seem to be the perfect setting for sexytime.
Why? They're self-contained wonderlands where feelings of freedom mingle with warm cider, and inhibitions are left at the entrance.
And while unwashed bodies and that unforgettable portaloo smell wouldn't usually be a recipe for a romp, more people are knocking wellies at festivals than you'd think.
So before you check your tent pegs and charge up your festival phone, make sure you've packed this rucksack-ready sexy survival kit.
I'd had my eye on it for a while, so after working through some body image issues, I decided to treat myself to some lingerie to improve my confidence.
I used to think that you needed a 10/10 body with no jiggly bits or cellulite to wear lingerie, but when my discreetly packaged box from Lovehoney arrived, I forgot all my inhibitions and ran upstairs to try it on.
Here's what happened when I wore my pearl panties for the first time.
If you're the proud owner of an exceptional pair of balls, then listen up.
When it comes down to providing powerful pleasure, testicles never get the credit they deserve.
Your balls are covered by a thin layer of muscle, and this muscle extends into your abdomen. This means your cojones can take your orgasm, amplify it and make it ripple throughout your entire body. Who doesn't want that?!
To spread this good news, I want to introduce you to 5 sex toys you should try if you have balls. Literally – I don't mean you necessarily have to be courageous or full of bravado to use them.
If you have a clitoris, then chances are you'll have been flicking your on/off switch ever since you discovered its magical powers.
If it ain't broke don't fix it, right? Wrong.
Deeper orgasms - the ones you can experience through stimulation of your internal erogenous zones - unfold more slowly, building to an overwhelming and intense peak, and last much longer. Some women even experience multiple orgasms as a result.
Using a sex toy to explore these hidden hot spots can help you find new ways to pleasure yourself, as well as different techniques and angles to try during sex.
From beautiful glass wands to lifelike schlongs of all shapes and sizes, we've got the dildo to help you find your ultimate inner orgasm.
"My partner is a wheelchair user and doesn't find missionary very comfortable. Can you recommend any positions that we can try?"
Disability Awareness Consultant and founder of DisabilityAfterDark, Andrew Gurza, shares his top sex positions for wheelchair users.
Andrew here! I received an interesting question in The Lovehoney Head Board inbox recently that dealt with disability, and it is among a category of questions that disabled people are asked when it comes to their sex lives.
Aside from people wanting to know if we can even have sex at all (which, by the way, is super offensive and ableist), the next common question is “How do you have sex?”
Well, we received the question above from someone who wants to know what positions, other than missionary, would work best for their partner who is a wheelchair user, so keep reading for my recommendations.