Want to Give a Sexy Gift? 15 Sexperts Share Their Top Tips

by Krista

on Dec 6, 2015

Sexy Christmas Gift Guide

Have you ever given a sex toy or other sexy item as a gift? Did you put some thought into it or just pick the first thing that caught your eye?

When you want to give something sexy or suggestive as a gift it's a good idea to think about who it's for, what it's for, and when you will be giving it to the lucky recipient.

Before you buy a gift with a naughty twist we suggest you consult the experts.

I've connected with a bunch of our thoughtful and knowledgeable sex educator, sex writer, and sex doctor friends to share some tips about how they've successfully given a sexy gift and some of their personally recommends.

Click through for more than 15 sex toy gift giving tips from our friends, the pros.

Violet Blue

Violet Blue"Unless it's a sexy book, do a bit of research on the sex toy you're gifting: Just as people increasingly prefer to eat organic and fair trade food, they're also loving the thoughtfulness and quality in toys made with healthy materials, and designer pride. A toy made with body-safe silicone (rather than mystery materials) by a sex-positive, happily-staffed company (like Tantus or Lovehoney) will make your gift ten times more meaningful (and less "weird" if they're gun-shy about a butt plug)."

Awarded Author, Notorious Journalist, and Sex Educator at TinyNibbles.com, Violet Blue.


Hey Epiphora"When picking out a sex toy for someone else, the key word to keep in mind is versatility. Don't get something that has one speed, or even 3, if you ask me — it's just too limiting. Don't get something that has a very specific audience or purpose unless you know your recipient wants something that does that (e.g. if they don't listen to music while masturbating, don't get them a music-powered vibe no matter how much you want to blast Black Sabbath on it). It's best to go with a simple, well-made toy with a range of settings and a shape that can be used a variety of ways — that way it's more likely to work for the recipient."

Sex Toy Reviewer and Connoisseur, HeyEpiphora.com. See Epiphora's Top Picks

Erika Moen

Erika Moen"Getting a sexy gift for someone really depends on what your relationship with them is like and how intimately you already communicate. If you two are brand new to your relationship and using sex toys/accessories, I'd err on the side of getting them a gift certificate to a nice sex shop or site. I know gift certificates can be seen as impersonal, but personally I see them as an opportunity to get exactly what you want from your sweetie (That may just be me, though!). Plus you two can do the shopping together! Maybe pair it up with a sexy physical gift along with the gift certificate. A cute, small sex toy or fancy chocolate or a book of sexy photos or artwork…"

Artist and Creator of OhJoySexToy.com, See Erika Moen's Top Picks.

Matthew Nolan

Matthew Nolan"Don't over think it! Getting a sexy toy to gift should be fun and easy, so don't stress out on what to pick. Chances are the recipient already has a sex toy or two they love, so don't sweat on trying to find the perfect toy. Something simple, fun, and considerate (like Tenga 3D Spiral) is always going to please."

Co-founder OhJoySexToy.com, Matthew Nolan

Charlie Glickman, PhD.

Charlie Glickman"One of my favorite sexy gift giving ideas take a little more planning. Pick up a copy of a how-to book about something your sweetie has wanted to try. Read through it and select a few tips or techniques to experiment with. Whether it’s oral sex, fantasy play, or spanking, taking the time to learn new ways to rock their socks off is a gift that keeps on giving, over and over. Plus, it might inspire them to do the same when it’s your birthday or another special occasion. Couples that keep on learning and experimenting with sex have a lot more fun!"

Certified Somatic Sexuality Educator, Charlie Glickman, PhD

Yolanda Shoshana

Yolanda Shoshana"I’m a big fan of giving gifts that awaken the senses. There is nothing sexier than a full sensory journey, because it takes pleasure to a whole other level. When I want to give a gift that gets the senses going I select from the Bijoux Indiscrets line. Not only are their products erotic, but they are elegant with a touch of kink."

Courtesan Coach, Seduction Alchemist, and Clairvoyant, Yolanda Shoshana

JoEllen Notte

Redhead Bedhead"Because toys and sex play in general can be daunting for some folks, I like my sexy gifts to come with a little education. I usually pair a toy with a corresponding educational book or video, this way the recipient has some guidance should they need it. Add a bottle of lube (always include lube!) and you've got a gift that's sexy, educational and a lot of fun! "

Saving The World From Mediocre Sex at Redheadbedhead.com, See JoEllen Notte's Top Picks

Lorrae Bradbury

Lorrae Bradbury"When looking for the perfect gift, go for one that your partner may have already hinted at… Have they mentioned that they’d love a little more clitoral action during sex? Go for that small clitoral vibrator! Or, are they craving to be tied up and spanked for the first time? A BDSM beginner’s kit is the way to go. If you’re not sure, try bringing up a few sexy scenarios in advance to see what they’re interested in. Mention a fantasy you’d enjoy, and ask if it’s something they’d like to try - or watch a porn clip together that uses a few different toys, and see which turns them on the most. If you’re really not sure, look for an awesome return policy, just in case."

Founder of SluttyGirlProblems.com, See Lorrae Bradbury's Top Picks

Jamye Waxman

Jayme Waxman"When giving a sexy gift, I like to go with something I already know and love. I like to include a little personal bullet pointed fact sheet about the toy so that the receiver has an even better idea about the uses for said toy. And the fact that I already know it and love it allows me to be more excited about giving the gift. Plus, it packs it with personal meaning (of course if you're giving it to a family member, that could border on icky)."

Bonus tip: "Whenever I gift a toy, I also try to gift lube. Not everyone thinks of including lube in their purchase, but sometimes a little lube is all you need to go the distance. "

Sex Educator and Chief Gasm Officer at Gasm.org, Jamye Waxman

jessica drake

Jessica Drake"One of the best ways to introduce something new in bed is with a sexy gift, and this is the season! Start a new tradition with your partner on Christmas Eve, and do a late night intimate gift exchange. Maybe they've always wanted to incorporate a toy during sex or maybe they want to try bondage- create a special package for their fantasy, include a movie to watch together, and don't skip the Wicked Sensual lube! Be their sexy Santa and make all their dreams come true!"

Wicked Pictures Exclusive Adult Actress, Writer, Director, Sex Educator, and Fleshlight Girl, jessica drake

Joan Price

Joan Price"Give a gift voucher for a luxury sex toy (around $200), and then let your special person pick it out. It's so much fun shopping for our own sex toy -- especially when someone else has already paid for it! Then we're guaranteed to get exactly what we want -- which you may not know to choose for us. If you're unsure, speaking to others will help raise some ideas."

Author and Senior Sex Educator, Joan Price

Sunny Megatron

Sunny Magatron"A wearable couple's toy like the We-Vibe 4 or a vibrating penis ring can be a wonderful holiday gift. Wait until the dinner guests have gone, the kids are in bed, and it's just the two of you until you give your special present. If it's a rechargeable toy, be sure to charge it up ahead of time just in case you both decide you'd like to sample it right way. The best thing about a couple's vibe is it's a gift for both of you. It can help you feel more connected to each other throughout the year."

Sexuality Educator and Star of "Sex with Sunny Megatron", Sunny Megatron

Simone Paget

Simone"Be thoughtful. Keep in mind who your partner is and what they like. For example, if your partner loves clitoral stimulation, don't gift them an 10 inch glass dildo - they'd probably be much happier with a compact but super powerful clitoral vibrator. Also, if you're not sure - ask. There might be something (a toy, lingerie, or another bedroom accessory) that they're currently coveting. Not sure how to bring it up? The staff at Lovehoney are always available to answer questions!"

Love and Sex Writer at SkinnyDip.ca, Simone Paget

Lucas Brooks

Lucas Brooks"Shopping for sex toys for other people is hard, because everybody gets off on different things. But you know one thing that every body has? Nerve endings. You know what nerve endings like? Vibration. Therefore, I have a few versatile vibrators that I think make great gifts because they work with so many different body parts. This year, my top gift suggestions are the Ooh! by Je Joue Kits or the We-Vibe Passionate Play Kit, because they contain assortments of high-quality items that allow for plenty of creativity in the bedroom."

Performance Artist and Writer at intellectualhomosexual.com, Lucas Brooks

Sarah Beall

Sarah Beall"The foundation for great sex is great communication -- that's why our entire message and mission at MakeLoveNotPorn.tv boils down to three little words: talk about it. Before you get lost in an array of candy colored sex toys, it's important to get a sense of what your intended giftee is looking for or interested in exploring at the moment. If the toy is for your female bestie, make some time to chat about your sex lives and slip in a couple of leading statements or questions. If you're a woman, you might lead by mentioning something you've really enjoyed lately and how she responds. You never know, you may discover that she hates having her G-spot stimulated, when you were just about to splurge on a high-end toy that would have ended up languishing in her bedside drawer for the next 5-10 years!"

"If the toy is for your lover, have a look at their collection and what you're using together on the regular. If they're not already dropping hints like gingerbread cookie crumbs, initiate some pillow talk about what they'd like to try next. Not only will this help you hit on something they'd like to try, it could also lead to a great conversation about what you guys like/would like to try in general. I'm personally a fan of being direct, so if completely surprising the giftee isn't all that important to either of you: just straight up ask if there's a sex toy they've been eyeing."

Community Manager at MakeLoveNotPorn.tv, Madam Curator, Sarah Beall.

Still looking for the perfect gift? Pick up a luxe vibrator for her or a cock ring to share from Lovehoney's desire range. Each expertly crafted pleasure toy comes with a quality storage case. Get in touch with customer care 24/7 via email or live chat with any questions.

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Written by Krista.

Originally published on Dec 6, 2015. Updated on Aug 5, 2020