The Ultimate Sex Guide To Maintain A Healthy Sex Life

by Lovehoney

on May 3, 2022

Healthy sex 101: The top tips we should all be following post sex.

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Following a steamy sex session, keeping your mind and body in peak condition should be a priority. As much as the kissing, sweating, sex toys, and lube are a huge turn-on in the heat of the moment, there can be risks involved if you fail to maintain hygiene standards. Although it can be tempting to lay around in bed and drift off to sleep following an intense night of passion, this can lead to problems down the line which are best staying clear of.

From changing your clothes to peeing after sex, keep infections at bay so you continue feeling your best and don’t let bad habits get in the way of your adventurous sex life. As well as ensuring your body is healthy, ensuring that you’re in the best possible headspace will really maximize sexual pleasure and build that all-important connection between you and your partner.

To really help you get the most from your sex life, Megan Fleming PhD, Certified Sex and Relationship Psychologist here at Lovehoney, has also shared some additional insights so you can make your next night of passion one to remember...

Learn How To Talk About Sex

It’s true what they say: communication is key! Being comfortable speaking about your sex life with a partner, openly discussing any likes or dislikes, is the only way to improve your sex life. The conversation doesn’t have to be an awkward one. In fact, telling them what you want to try next time or praising a certain something they did can be a real turn-on.

Dr. Megan comments:

Opening up a sexual conversation is vulnerable and can feel overwhelming. A strategy to bring up something new you’d be interested in trying is to find that idea in a magazine such as Cosmo or Men’s health, or a podcast, and say: “Wow, I read/listened to it and it got me excited about the possibility of trying… What do you think?” This way, the ‘idea’ came from a source outside of yourself, and for most that’s an easier way to inquire about their partner's interest.

I also find that helping couples develop a ‘Yes, No, and Not For Now’ list can be really helpful. Couples can have their favorites, their go-to's for sex, on the Yes list. No’s are things a partner has no interest in, or fears would be painful. The Not For Now’s are things you are open to but not yet ready for. I suggest revisiting this list every six months - as things that were once Not For Now can most definitely become a Yes!

Pee After Sex

Although the last thing you will want to do after a steamy session is to get out of bed and head straight to the bathroom, it is important to pee as soon as possible to prevent an infection. As you have sex, your intimate areas are exposed to bacteria which can make its way to the urinary tract and result in a painful UTI. By urinating right away, any lingering bacteria is flushed out of the body to minimize risk.

Dr. Megan comments:

Peeing after sex is for your sexual health. That said, the bonus is no one has to sleep in the wet spot.

Freshen Up The Area

Following a night of passionate sex, using clean, fresh water to clean up can prevent irritation. Especially if you have sensitive skin, the combination of rubbing, lube and sweat can upset the pH balance and even risk infection if you have any tiny open wounds. Hopping into the shower right after sex is a great way to restore balance and wash away any additional fluids.

Dr. Megan comments:

Warm water may be soothing, but importantly the vagina is self-cleaning.

Updated Cleaning Your Toys

Once you’ve finished up with your favorite vibrators or couples toys, use a sex toy cleaner or natural soap with clean water to give them a good clean. Your genitals are incredibly sensitive, so removing any bacteria will minimize the chance of any infections or irritation. After you have cleaned them, it is equally as important to let them fully dry before packing them back away for next time.

Dr. Megan comments:

If your toy is ‘splashproof’, don’t submerge it in water.

Push The Boundaries

Especially if you’re in a long-term relationship, it is normal for sex to become repetitive and a bit mundane. It’s never too late to try something new, so spice up your sex life by introducing some new depth into the bedroom, discussing your fantasies with your partner. Whether you experiment with sexy costumes, introduce some new toys or try some adventurous positions, you never know, you may discover your new favorite style!

Dr. Megan comments:

Far too many couples fall into scripted sex: same time, same place, often sex that can feel mechanical and, frankly, for some, feel not worth having at all. I’m all for expanding your sexual menu. In fact, I want you to have a version of a Greek Diner menu with plenty of appetizers, main entrees and desserts. Sometimes you want a full-course meal, and other times just one course. You get to design your own menu. What would you both like to create? Keep the dialogue open and explore all the possibilities of giving and receiving pleasure.

Find Your Peak Time

Everyone is different and the time of day in which you have sex can really switch up your experience. For many people, the evening time is the most popular, but actually the afternoon can be mutually beneficial for both parties as this is when we have our most energy. Try out new times of day and switch up your schedule, finding out what conditions make for the best times.

Dr. Megan comments:

It’s not uncommon for one partner to be a night person and the other a morning person. Weekends provide the opportunity to explore a range of times in between that feel good for you both. Sometimes it's about conserving energy, but flirting a little as before play can also go a long way to set the mood and the tone of your anticipated sexual encounter.

Take Your Time

Sex is a great way to destress and unwind, being great for both physical and mental wellbeing. As well as making you feel great, it is a great way to build upon the bond between you and your partner as you share an intimate experience and pleasure each other's bodies. As you get into the heat of the moment, be sure to take it slow to really maximize the pleasure.

Dr. Megan comments:

The foundation of arousal is relaxation. Make a list of go-to activities that help you to decompress. Sensual massage is generally a great place to start. Taking time builds arousal, and the longer you build your arousal the more intense/satisfying your orgasm will be.

Updated Don't Hold Back On The Lube

Reduce friction so you can glide right in and maximize pleasure for both parties and focus on nothing but pure enjoyment. Although particularly effective for those who struggle with natural dryness or tightness, lube can also provide benefits for everyone whether you are enjoying solo play or intimacy with a partner.

Dr. Megan comments:

Another advantage of lube is that the sensation of wetness is associated with arousal. When vulva owners have difficulties with vaginal dryness or arousal, it’s not uncommon that they are ‘spectatoring’ - observing their experience and noting what they are not feeling. Lubrication puts the mind at ease so you can relax into the sensations. Pleasurable touch feels good to the body, and through the body arousal builds, which often leads to responsive desire.

Fresh Set Of Clothes

After a long day, your underwear and clothing can become a breeding ground for infection as your natural body fluids build up. After you’ve cleaned up following sex, changing out of those sexy panties and into some clean clothes and changing the bedsheets will maintain hygiene standards and leave you feeling fresher than ever.

Dr. Megan comments:

Alternatively, you might enjoy sleeping nude and having the opportunity to snuggle or spoon - skin-to-skin contact can feel so good. Also, an alternative to changing your sheets because that can be a hassle, is to put down a waterproof blanket for sexual play that you can throw off and into the washer when you are done.

Ultimate sex guide infographic - 04-05-2022

Written by Lovehoney. For collaborative posts between Lovehoney team members and guest authors
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Originally published on May 3, 2022. Updated on Apr 28, 2022