Lovehoney Crotchless Lace Thong with Satin Bows

If you haven’t gathered already, the image of the front of these knickers on the website is incorrect; they are in fact very similar to the back, but with a solid lace waistband (no gap or bows), and the front crotchless seams are stitched together until a few inches down. The lace used for the waistband is also different than pictured; it’s floral in person, whereas the picture shows a paisley version that appears to be the same as the LH Crotchless Pearl Thong. I was hoping it would be the same because the Pearl ones are lovely, soft and stretchy, but the lace on this thong isn’t.

The thong is lovely-looking but, for me, it ends there. Both the fabric mesh and the lace waistband have a coarse, unyielding quality to them, and there is hardly any stretch at all. I’m normally a slim UK size 16, but lockdown has seen me ebb towards a size 18, so I thought I’d play it safe and order the largest size (XXL 20-22). I don’t know if there is an issue with the sizing for this particular garment, but they are very, very small, and fit me more like a small 16 does; the waistband cuts into my hip-dips and the back only comes as high as my bum-crack - there is simply not enough fabric to go all the way underneath, causing the presumably cute Brazilian-style bum-covering to disappear where the sun don’t shine!

The trim is also coarse and cuts into my leg-join. Worse still, the aforementioned butt-munching pulls the trim tight, like cheese wire, along my nethers. Not much fun.

The placement of the crotchless split appears to be in the right area, but I imagine that with the amount of fishing and ferreting needed to part and release it, me and my partner are not going to have the energy or willpower for doing much else.

This has been my worse experience with LH undies, although all my others from them have been brilliant, so don’t let a dud deter you from trying different styles.