How To Give an Erotic Massage

Erotic massage is the perfect way to connect physically and emotionally with someone, and show them you care.

Kneading and massaging tense spots doesn't just soothe physical pain, it can also help the recipient to unwind as they focus less on the pain and the stress associated with it.

A massage can be as simple as stroking the shoulders with your hands, or as involved as a long, drawn-out full-body massage using fragrant oils.

Whatever you decide to do, you’ll soon realise the benefits to your body, relationship and sex life.


Find out more about how to give an erotic massage with the help of this video from Lovehoney.

How to Give an Erotic Massage

No matter what part of the body you are massaging, there are some simple techniques that apply almost everywhere.

Set the Mood

Start by making the room warm - your partner will probably be naked or at least semi-naked so to stop shivers, turn up the heat.

Harsh lighting can be an uncomfortable distraction, so dim the lights or light some candles.

Keep Close

When massaging your lover, try to keep your bodies as close as possible and always maintain body contact.

This will keep them warm and stop them from wondering "where did they go?" mid-massage. Plus it will help you to feel connected and escalate arousal.

Initial Touch

The first few touches you make should be long, lingering and purposeful. Psychologically speaking, firm contact will reassure your partner and make them feel safe.

Use this time to apply the massage oil to their body and get their skin warmed up. Your hands should be flat but your fingers should be relaxed, allowing them to splay and follow the natural contours of your partner’s body.

Check In

Be careful not to press too hard or cause any pain when you’re giving the massage and take time to check in with your partner to find out which parts they enjoy most.


Massage doesn’t have to be intense and deep - in fact, doing the opposite can be both soothing and exciting at the same time. Using your fingertips, trace the contours of your partner’s body.

Run your fingers through their hair, gently graze their neck with the pads of your fingers or follow the smooth curves of their lips with your thumbs.

This soft touching will give great results and allow you to move your touch from one area of the body to another fluidly.

Kneading Thumbs

Pressing, kneading and rolling the thumbs against the body is a great way to work out tension in the muscles.

Press your thumbs against any body part and smoothly move them away from you, using the full extension of your thumbs.

Moving each thumb, one after the other creates a continuous rolling sensation that will really get rid of knots and tight spots. This works especially well on the back, shoulders, feet and thighs.

Getting Intimate

If you hope that your massage will lead to something intimate, use a massage lotion that's safe as a personal lubricant and condom-compatible.

Oil is not recommended for use as a lube, and it's not compatible with latex condoms.

A specially formulated massage lube like Durex 2in1 Massage & Play Intensify Lubricant or any of our silicone lubricants are ideal because they will keep you slick and sensual all over and you can go seamlessly from massage to sex.

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