How to Prepare for Anal Sex

How to Prepare for Anal Sex

by Lovehoney

on May 10, 2020

So you're thinking about trying anal sex. Great! Anal sex is something many couples enjoy and find pleasurable, and if you're curious about getting started, this is the guide for you.

how to prepare for anal sex

Step 1: Talk to Your Partner

The first step to great sex of any kind is communication, so be sure to talk to your partner about what you'd like to do before you do it. This includes talking about anal sex toys or anal play; if you'd like to start preparing for anal sex, you'll need to make sure your partner's on the same page as you.

Start by approaching the topic when you're not in the bedroom so there's no pressure on either of you, then be honest and tell them what interests you about anal sex. Be sure to listen to what your partner has to say in response, too.

One method we suggest for getting the conversation started is to look at beginner's anal toys together, rather than diving right into rimming (more on that later). For some folks, suprise butt stuff is shocking and could even be upsetting, which is not a great way to feel during any kind of sex act! So your first step in preparing for anal sex is opening the lines of communication.

Step 2: Get Clean

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Everyone knows what the bum's day job is, and you'll both need to accept the possibility of encountering that day job if you're choosing to explore anal sex. With that said, we know a lot of people want to know how to clean before anal sex so they can minimize any unwanted excrement appearances.

Start by giving yourself a good wash in the backdoor area with an unscented soap. You don't need to do any more than that!

However, if you'd like a more intensive clean, consider investing in an anal douche like the Lovehoney Anal Douche. Using a douche to cleanse your rectum at least half an hour before play can further reduce the chance of any mishaps as well as help you feel sexier and more confident. Being relaxed is a key component to good anal sex, so do what makes you feel best.

If you're someone who prefers to tame or trim their body hair before sex, remember to pay attention to the area around your anus. You may not realise how much hair it has to offer!

Step 3: Use Anal Lubricant

Lovehoney Discover Water-Based Anal Lubricant

The best lube for anal sex is, of course, one that's designed for anal sex. And to be clear, you should always use lubricant when you're having anal sex. The anus does not provide natural lubrication the way the vagina does, so all your slip and slide will need to come from an external option like lube.

It's all well and good using whatever lube you have lying around, but if you're preparing for anal sex, why not pick up the best product for what you plan to do?

Water-based, oil-based, or even silicone-based anal lubes will go a long way towards making sure your anal adventures are delightful and satisfying. Pick a lube that specifically describes itself as being suitable for anal play, like Lovehoney Discover – anal lubes are generally thicker and more long-lasting than non-anal lubes, meaning you can play for longer without reapplication.

While you're preparing, be sure to check if your anal lube of choice is compatible with the toys or condoms you intend to use. Water-based lubricant is usually compatible with all kinds of anal play, while oil-based lubricant will erode condoms and may damage some toys and silicone-based lubricant is not compatible with silicone or realistic-feel toys.

Step 4: Warm Up

Before you plunge into anal sex, you'll want to warm up with a little anal foreplay. Foreplay is a great way to get you and your partner relaxed, aroused, and ready for anal. Here are a few techniques to get you started.


Rimming or analingus is the act of orally pleasuring your partner's anus and it's one of the most pleasurable forms of anal foreplay. That said, it doesn't have to be limited to just your tongue – try pairing your loving licks with a vibrator or a stroker to add incredible extra stimulation to your partner's pleasure.

Don't get tunnel vision! Be sure to lavish some loving attention to the sensitive inner thighs, perineum and testicles while performing analingus. A gentle squeeze on the bum can also intensify your lover's experience.

Your tongue is one of the strongest muscles in your body, so be sure to use it to its full potential. Alternate between pinpoint dips and wide, flat strokes so your partner never knows what's coming next.

It's also a good idea to incorporate your breath into analingus. Gently blowing hot and cold air onto the anus during rimming can heighten sensitivity and immensely intensify sensations.

Lastly, the real key to enjoying rimming is being comfortable. Be sure both you and your partner find an ideal position for the oral extravaganza – be it 69, face-sitting, or them lying on their front with a pillow under their hips while you enjoy the view from a kneel at their rear.

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Anal fingering

Anal fingering is another delicious form of anal foreplay. As you may expect from the name, anal fingering involves using a single digit as the teasing element of foreplay.

Stroke around your partner's anus, taking care not to scratch the sensitive skin with any fingernails. You might like to use a latex finger cot (which is basically a single-finger glove) to make sure your finger stays clean while you explore.

As always, make sure to use plenty of lube, especially if you're using a finger to start anal penetration for the first time.

Small anal sex toys

If you've progressed from analingus to fingering, the next step up in your anal training is small anal toys. Part of enjoying anal sex is getting accustomed to the feeling of it – some people enjoy the full-up feeling of a finger, toy, or other body part inside them almost right away, but a lot of people need to take their time getting used to the sensation.

Why not take a look at our beginners anal toys and choose one together? Look for something with a tapered tip and small initial circumference; you can always work up to something larger.

Anal beads

One of the best anal toys to start your anal training is anal beads. Anal beads provide progressive anal play all on their own, without the need for a new toy as soon as you get used to the smallest beads.

Anal beads like the Lovehoney Classic Silicone Anal Beads generally start with a super slim initial bead that's easy to pop inside. You can use as many or as few beads as you like; they grow larger as you progress, offering more stretch and satisfaction as they go.

Anal beads feel wonderful all on their own, but they're even better to gently remove at the point of orgasm. Annabelle and Jess cover all the detals in our video below.

Butt plug

Jelly Rancher Pleasure Anal Training Butt Plug Kit

Our last suggestion for your anal foreplay is to pick up a set of butt plugs like the Jelly Rancher Pleasure Anal Training Butt Plug Kit. Butt plugs are an excellent form of anal foreplay and can even be worn during PIV sex for added fullness and satisfaction.

The benefit of an anal training set like this one is that it provides you multiple sizes of butt plug so you can progress at your own pace. Wearing a butt plug prior to engaging in anal sex is an excellent way to prepare for penetration with a dildo or penis.

Step 5: Take Your Time and Go Slow

Above all, when you're preparing for anal sex and trying it for the first time, be sure to take your time and savour the experience. Communicate, enjoy the foreplay, and go slowly.

Sammi and Jess have some great advice on why this step is so important, as well as loads of other tips on how to enjoy your first foray into anal sex.


Written by Lovehoney. For collaborative posts between Lovehoney team members and guest authors
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Originally published on May 10, 2020. Updated on Nov 20, 2020