How to Practice Bondage for Beginners

Medically reviewed by Dr. Megan Fleming Ph D.

Written by Lucy, Lovehoney Editorial Team.

Last updated 6 June 2022.

When most people think of BDSM activities, they think of a man or woman being chained to the bed posts with a set of furry handcuffs. Although this is a fun way to get into tie-up fun, there’s a lot more to enjoy and explore when it comes to beginner’s bondage play.

Bondage can be used to pull parts of the body together, spread certain limbs, fix your body to another object or even create the effect of mummification. Whatever you want to try, there’s plenty of BDSM ideas for couples that can help broaden your sexual horizons, spice-up your bedroom antics and increase your repertoire of sexual and sensual techniques.

Easing yourself into BDSM with some beginner bondage positions and light bondage techniques is the best thing you can do when first starting out. In this guide, we’ve shared our advice on how to do bondage when you’ve never done it before, so you can feel comfortable exploring BDSM safely and at your own pace. Take a look at our top 10 beginner’s S and M ideas below for some serious kink-spiration!

Best BDSM activities

1. Get your head in the game

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Want to try beginner’s BDSM activities but don’t know where to start? Bondage games are a fantastic way to ease yourself into BDSM play and explore different types of bondage equipment.

Some beginners find that including an element of playfulness into bondage-related scenarios can help them to relax and feel more comfortable when trying new things.

Our bondage games include everything from kinky truth or dare cards to naughty twists on classic board games.

Whatever you choose, there’s a whole host of fun BDSM ideas just waiting to be discovered in our collection.

2. Love is blind

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Blindfolds are a simple, yet very effective bondage accessory - ideal for beginners.

Using a blindfold or mask to restrict your vision helps to heighten all your other senses, making you more perceptive and sensitive to touch. Removing any eye contact also helps with confidence for both parties, and strengthens your ability to understand each other’s body language.

Light bondage techniques for blindfolds include using a feather tickler to tease your partner’s body or stimulate their erogenous zones before any sexual gratification.

Blindfolds can be substituted for ties, silk scarves or a pair of tights, which makes this type of play an easy at home bondage idea.

3. Cuff me up, officer!

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It might sound obvious, but handcuffs are a great way to get into bondage play. Whether you've got a police officer and naughty criminal fantasy or you just love the feeling of being restrained, handcuffs will give you a feeling of being powerless while still having the ability to move.

With handcuffs, you can try beginner bondage positions such as cuffing your partner to the bed. Cuffing them so that their hands are attached to the bed posts will elongate their body, allowing you to teasingly explore every inch of their skin.

An alternative S&M idea is to have your partner sit on a chair and cuff their hands behind their back. This will allow you to do exactly as you please, without them being able to touch - great for naughty lap dances!

4. Let’s get physical

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If you’re looking for light pain play ideas, then spankers, ticklers and floggers are ideal toys to get started with. Teasing your lover with the light stroke of a feather tickler or the gentle graze of a flogger will heighten their sensory perception and drive them crazy!

Impact play toys can also be used in combination with restraints or blindfolds to enhance the anticipation even more.

Other pain play ideas include using a spanking paddle or whip to inflict a sharp but satisfying sting on your partner’s skin. However, it’s important to check that they’re comfortable with more intensive impact play before you dive right in.

5. All tied up

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Cuffing hands together is lots of fun, but why leave other limbs out of the action? Light bondage techniques involving various restraints can be used to position your body in different ways. You can bind ankles to ankles, wrists to ankles, necks to wrists, and even fasten all your limbs together, hogtie style.

These techniques let you progress from basic bondage positions to more creative BDSM play. For this type of restraint act, we’d recommend using bondage tape to start with as it’s non-intimidating, versatile and safe for all body parts.

Once you find a position you like, investing in a harness or hogtie can provide an even more thrilling restraint experience.

6. Spreader Bar

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Bondage also involves restraining limbs away from each other as well as pulling them together, and the best way to do this is with a spreader bar. Available in lots of different sizes, spreader bars allow you to graduate from basic bondage positions to something a little more thrilling. With your limbs wide apart, you’re unable to flinch or prevent access to your body.

There are many exciting S & M bedroom ideas involving spreader bars. Standing up with a spreader bar makes walking difficult and can be used as part of a kinky discipline scenario. Using a spreader bar while lying down creates a sexy medical scenario, which works great when teamed with a doctor or nurse outfit.

If you want to start off small, why not invest in a restraint kit like the Bondage Boutique Black Bound to Please Under Mattress Restraint or the Bondage Boutique Soft Over-The-Door Sex Swing.

7. Temperature Play

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Other exciting BDSM activities you can try involve experimenting with light hot and cold impact play. Temperature play is one of the best at home bondage ideas as you can use things you have around the house.

You can use ice cubes or warm honey on the skin to start with, then move onto using bondage candles or heated sex toys once you’re comfortable.

As with all bondage practices, it’s important to put the safety of you and your partner first. Only use specialist bondage candles with a lower melting point to avoid burning the skin. See more advice in our Hot Wax Play Safety guide.

8. Wrap it up

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Full-body bondage may sound scary but it can be very erotic, when done correctly. For a fun BDSM idea, try using Bondage Tape to wrap the entire body until it’s totally mummified! But be careful - things can heat-up very quickly, so make sure to take a break when you start feeling a little too warm.

If you fancy being a bit more daring, invest in some Shibari Bondage Rope. This can also be used to restrain every part of the body and can be very beautiful when tied correctly. Shibari rope creates a feeling of constriction and can be tight on the skin, so make sure to avoid cutting off blood circulation.

Read our guide to How to Do Bondage Rope for information on getting started with rope play.

9. Having a Ball

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If you've already done the restraining body parts thing and you're looking for S&M ideas to ramp up the kink, why not try using a ball gag?

A ball gag is a kind of bondage equipment that holds the mouth open and prevents your partner from speaking. An erotic scenario to try out with a partner in a ball gag is the 'silent interrogation'. Tie them to a chair and slip the ball gag in their mouth, then 'interrogate' their body by teasing it with a feather tickler or wartenberg wheel. If they make a noise, you give them a soft spank to remind them not to be so naughty!

Important note: No matter what type of bondage you’re doing, make sure you have a safe word and that you stop whatever you are doing as soon as it is said. It's a good idea that you both read on How to Do Bondage Techniques Safely before play.

10. Kit Yourself Out

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Finally, if you’re a beginner with an appetite for adventure, Bondage Kits let you indulge in all the goodies BDSM has to offer. With a kit, you get the whole shebang: from blindfolds and ticklers to impact toys and restraints.

A bondage set is ideal for those of you who want to try out multiple different beginner bondage positions and techniques, and this can be extremely fun and exciting to explore with a partner. You can use the toys on their own or together for combined sensations - the great thing about these sets is that there’s no rules on how you play. You certainly won’t be short of S and M ideas with these beauties.

Browse our BDSM sets for an all-you-can eat bondage buffet that you won’t be able to resist!

Recommended for Beginner's Bondage

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