How to Masturbate for Men

If you’ve got a penis and you’re looking for tips to enhance your jacking off time, that’s great! Maybe you don’t get the hype about masturbating and think it could be better – or maybe you’re stuck in a routine and want inspiration to shake it up. Whatever brings you here, kudos for taking your pleasure into your own hands… literally.

In this article, you’ll find a bunch of information about how to masturbate for men, as well as technique and toy suggestions to help make it feel amazing. You’ll also hear what the experts have to say on sexual pleasure for anyone with a penis. Enjoy – however you like.

Only got time for a quickie?

Alone only for a short time and want to get down to business? We get it. Here’s what you really need to know, but with plenty more detail in the full guide.

• Masturbation is a healthy sexual activity with a range of benefits, so have at it without any shame
• While masturbating, you can explore new sensations and learn what your body enjoys to make sex feel better
• Self-pleasure is about learning what you like; there’s no right or wrong way to masturbate! But if it’s your first time, simply add a dash of lube to your hand or penis, grip the shaft, and rub it up and down rhythmically – that's it!
• Use your imagination and get yourself going with sexy fantasies, or use some porn or erotic literature
• Fine tune your technique with different strokes and pacing, figuring out what your penis likes most (more tips below)
• Don't be afraid of sex toys either; strokers, realistic vaginas and other toys help make jerking off feel more like sex – i.e. awesome

Yes, masturbating can actually be good for you! Here are some of the main benefits of masturbation.

First, masturbating can reduce stress by releasing hormones and chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins that boost mood and wellbeing. This can ease anxiety, pain and inflammation, and may help with sleep, blood pressure, and concentration. According to multiple studies, masturbating might also reduce prostate cancer risk, while another study says it can help boost self-esteem.

Despite widespread myths that suggest otherwise, masturbation can make you and your penis work better in bed. It improves sexual development, helping you feel better about your body and understand what gives you pleasure. It might also help you improve your sexual stamina, if you practice edging (more on that later).

As long as you’re not doing it excessively – to the point where you’re breaking or bruising the skin on your penis, or it’s causing you stress – masturbation definitely has health benefits.

Not only is masturbating a healthy act – which, by the way, feels really good – it's also super easy. Here’s how:

Adjust your grip and stroke speed

“As you explore further and begin to discover what feels pleasurable for you, mix it up and try different positions, techniques and hand grips to really understand your own body,” says Psychologist and host of the Sex and Psychology Podcast Dr. Justin Lehmiller.

Your penis has some very sensitive areas with a ton of nerve endings, so there’s a lot to explore. Stroke and massage your perineum (the area between your butthole and balls); slowly run a vibrator up and down the shaft and frenulum (that band of skin connecting your head to your shaft). Bullet vibes are great for this because they’re super discreet and easy to use.

You can also adjust where your fingers are placed and how tightly they grip your penis. Try going from quick and thrilling to slow and sensual. You might be surprised about how pleasurable it can be to switch it up!

Use your other hand (or both hands!)

It’s natural to masturbate with your dominant hand. Once you get used to that, feel free to jerk off with the other one and potentially enjoy a different experience – almost like sleeping with a new partner, except it’s still yourself!

You can also masturbate with both hands. On the Lovehoney Forum, SEXYGET_69 suggests: “Stroke with cupped hands, up and down, while running the ridges of the underside of the interlocked fingers over the head”. Our tip? Slather yourself with lube first, so those fingers glide smoothly.

Prostate masturbation techniques

Say hello to your prostate gland, a small organ located below your bladder, in front of your rectum. Massaging this sweet spot can help you achieve what’s known as a prostate orgasm.

“The difference [from a regular orgasm] is it’s not immediate,” says Kenneth Play, co-founder of Hacienda, a sex club in NYC. “It kind of radiates; it’s not localized, it spreads, and you have to learn how to feel it.”

Massage your prostate with your finger

Make sure your hands are clean and nails trimmed – and always use anal lube for smooth entry. Bend over and gently slide a finger into your butt. Angle your finger towards your belly and slide deeper until you feel the smooth side of a ball that’s about the size of a walnut – that’s your prostate.

You might briefly feel the need to urinate, but that won’t last more than a second or two! Gently press on and feel around your prostate, moving the fingers in small circles.

Combine prostate massage with masturbation

Anal stimulation is like seasoning for solo sex, so it works best when you’re already aroused from jerking off. Here’s how Kenneth recommends getting a prostate orgasm:

“Stroke [your penis] until you near orgasm and, right when you’re almost at the point of no return, lower the sensation in your penis and increase the sensation on your prostate – until your prostate tips you over instead of your [penis].” The result? An intense orgasm that keeps building.

According to Kenneth, you can then work the penis toward orgasm again for “back-to-back orgasms from two different regions of your body.” Seriously.

Add incredible sensations with a toy

Pulling off all these gymnastics while jerking off is challenging. Lucky there are prostate massagers to help! The curved, bulbous tip and flared base is designed to stimulate your prostate for you, while you focus on stroking yourself.

Once you’ve tried inserting a finger, you’ll know roughly where your prostate is and whether you want to try stimulating it with a toy. It’s best to work your way up, starting with small beginner-friendly anal toys. This will help your butt relax and accommodate larger toys when you’re ready to explore.

Toys can get you off in ways you can’t imagine or achieve with just your hand. Here are some suggestions for sex toys men (or anyone with a penis) can use for masturbation:

• Male masturbators. Also known as “strokers” or “stroker sleeves,” these toys can feel even better than penis-in-vagina sex, as they generate a suction action and have softer textures compared to human hands. Motorized masturbators even help you jerk off without having to pump your penis yourself! Kenneth Play recommends the Fleshlight x Lovehoney Masterstroke Masturbator, saying it’s “straightforward and effective.”
• Prostate massagers. You can get prostate massagers that vibrate, rotate, or thrust. The first time you play, look out for one with a broad stimulation head, as it'll be easier to find and target your prostate.
• Cock rings. These toys fit around the base of the penis to slow the blood flow back out of an erection. The effect? For some cock rings can keep the penis harder, longer, for more play. Some cock rings also vibrate for extra sensation.
• Realistic vaginas or butts. Like male masturbators, realistic vaginas and butts simulate the satisfying sensation of penetration – complete with soft material that feels like skin. They're a great way for you to fine-tune your sexual technique and understand what you like, too.
• Anal beads. There's no sensation quite like the "pop" of anal beads sliding out of your butt while you climax. Since anal beads usually increase gradually in size, they can also help you comfortably condition your rectum for larger toys.
• Dildos. Grab a suction cup dildo and stick it to a flat surface, like the wall in your shower, for hands-free anal play. Or choose something sleek like this stainless-steel dildo from njoy. The cool, firm metal can feel incredible inside you – Kenneth calls it the "best interior toy ever for all bodies."
• Sex dolls. Enjoy a sex-like experience, this time with a toy that’s nearly or totally human-sized. Buy or customize a sex doll that looks like your dream partner and explore your wildest fantasies, safely.

According to a survey by Tenga, 92% of American men masturbate, which suggests this is pretty “normal” behavior. With that much jerking off going on, you’d think we’d all be natural pros. But you can improve your handy game with these tips:

Get in the right headspace

People tend to believe men have incredibly high sex drives and spontaneous flashes desire – i.e. they can get hard at the drop of a hat. But that’s not always the case. Being relaxed and properly horny will intensify pleasure and possibly lead to more explosive orgasms.

Take deep breaths to calm yourself down. That gorgeous girl, super-fit guy or just generally attractive person you saw at the gym or out shopping is suddenly available to you – in your mind. Use your imagination to fantasize about what you’d like to do with them, sexually. This’ll help you get aroused and once you do, start stroking.

Touch different erogenous zones

There are many parts of your body that feel good when touched sexually, not just your penis. Lightly stroke or cup your testicles while you masturbate. Lick a couple fingers and pinch or tweak your nipples, too. Just explore your body. Make the most of your “me time” and discover what – and where – your turn ons are.

Grab the lube

Slick yourself up with spit from your mouth or, even better, with lube. Lube is specially formulated to improve the sensation of sex, keeping things nice and wet and reducing chafe. Water-based lube is great all-rounder, since it’s compatible with most sex toys and condoms. Silicone lube can damage silicone sex toys and even stain your sheets, but it tends to be longer-lasting, with an almost oily, slick texture that can feel really sensual.

Mix up your porn

Sometimes it feels like 98% of the internet is devoted to porn, so you shouldn’t have a problem finding the right stuff for you. Porn can get you horny and give you an outlet for finding out what your biggest turn ons are. We always recommend looking for ethical porn (where the people involved are paid and treated properly), but that doesn’t mean you can mix up your search terms to experience something new.

Expert advice: Remember that most porn is a fantasy, which is acted out by performers. Don’t expect real partners to have sex the same way. Be mindful with how you approach porn, but have fun with whatever turns you on.

Build tension with edging

Edging is when you masturbate long enough to get close to the feeling that you’re going to orgasm before easing your foot off the gas pedal, so to speak. Turn down the speed and intensity of your stroking – or stop altogether – and let your penis back down from the point of no return – which is the moment your body commands you ejaculate. Why the heck would you stop yourself from orgasming? Edging can make orgasms more intense when they do happen. Some people also find it helps them build sexual stamina too.

Masturbate as much as you want

There’s no such thing as “normal” when it comes to how often you masturbate. No matter how much you jerk off, you won’t get hairy palms, go blind, or become infertile or insane. Masturbate as much as you want and enjoy its benefits, free of shame or guilt. But if masturbating is causing you physical discomfort or getting in the way of your work, relationships or normal routine, try taking a break. If you struggle to enjoy sex with partner because you only climax alone or when watching porn, there's no shame in asking a sex counsellor for advice.

Try it with a partner

Penetrative sex with partners is great, but don’t sleep on masturbating with them, too. It won’t take away from sex; instead, it’ll add to it. “You could learn a lot from mutual masturbation,” says Kenneth. "Notice how they touch themselves and then remember that that's how they like to be touched.” Better sex will lead to more sex and increased intimacy between you and your partner(s).

Don’t dismiss anal play

Many men reject anal play out of fear of what it means for their sexuality. But it doesn’t matter who you find attractive, your anus is full of nerve endings that could bring you a lot of pleasure.

“Anal is if anything better for men than women as we have that prostate in there!” says unifex on the Lovehoney Forum. So don’t be shy. Explore on your own at first, just with a finger and plenty of anal lube. When you’re ready, try small toys and work your way up.