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What is Mutual Masturbation? Benefits & Positions
on Apr 24, 2025
Y’know, your sex life doesn’t have to revolve around penetration to be counted as “proper sex”. Sure, penis-in-vagina (or penis-in-anus) can be fun, but there are a lot more ways you can share pleasure. Like jerking off together.
Mutual masturbation might not sound like the sexiest thing in the world, but don’t be fooled! It’s hot, satisfying, and has a heap of benefits. This article will show you all the reasons to love masturbating together, with loads of ideas for mutual masturbation positions to try.
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What is mutual masturbation?
Mutual masturbation is when you and your partner(s) masturbate together. It's a type of sexual activity that doesn’t necessarily involve penetration; instead, you can touch yourselves using your hands (or sex toys) while watching each other, kissing, or even touching each other – if you can’t keep away!
Toys to try together
What are the benefits of mutual masturbation?
A 2023 study found that 95% of men and women felt “happy” and “satisfied” after a mutual masturbation session – some even experienced more sexual satisfaction compared to solo masturbation. But why is mutual masturbation so good?
Jerking off together can be really sexy, since you get to watch each other while you do it! It’s also a form of safer sex, as there’s less risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections (STIs) if your bits aren’t in contact.
It’s rare for women to climax through penetrative sex alone, so this is one way to make sure she gets her Os – especially if you’re using toys to stimulate her clitoris. Plus, mutual masturbation offers the potential for simultaneous orgasms, since you can more reliably reach climax this way and let each other know when you’re close.
Most importantly, you get to see exactly how you both like to be touched, helping you understand your partner’s pleasure, learn new techniques, and deepen your sexual relationship.
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6 mutual masturbation positions to try
Whether it’s your first time hearing about mutual masturbation or it’s been on your mind for a while, we’ve got you! Here are six exciting mutual masturbation positions to try out and see which one works best for you and your partner.
Kneeling
This kneeling sex position is all about getting closer, gentle touching, and kissing each other all over.
Squat or kneel, depending on what’s more comfortable, and face your lover. Trail your hands and fingers over each other’s thighs and arms, before moving onto the torso. Tease and tickle your own body parts or reach over to rub one another down, the choice is yours.
If at least one of you has a vulva, try using a clitoral suction toy to intensify your self-pleasure. These toys use air waves to tease all around your clitoris, which some people find much more satisfying than a vibrator. While one of you uses your toy, the other can watch or kiss their lover all over – or use their own toy!
Either way, you’re bound to have an incredible view. Tell your partner how hot they look; saying something like "it’s so sexy when you do that” is an easy way to try dirty talk if you’re shy.
Standing
Give each other a standing ovation with a sex position that puts you face-to-face with each other’s genitals.
One partner lies down on the bed with their knees bent, legs open, and feet flat on the bed. The top partner stands by the bottom partner’s head, leaning over to kiss and caress the bottom partner’s stomach, clitoris, or penis. Meanwhile, the bottom partner can use their hand, bullet vibe, or penis stroker to touch themselves.
This one’s all about bringing novelty and intimate angles to your play. Leaning on one hand, the top partner can touch themselves while the bottom partner kisses their lover’s inner thighs, labia, or scrotum. You can easily transition your session from masturbation to oral sex, too.
Using a leash
Become BDSM baddies with this sex position that’s perfect for couples looking to explore kink, light bondage, and roleplay scenarios for the first time.
The submissive partner kneels on a bed or the floor while the dominant partner puts a collar around their sub’s neck. Once the collar’s been adjusted, the Dom attaches the leash, kneels next to their sub and holds the leash firmly in their hand.
Perfect for spicing up your foreplay sessions, the one in control of holding the leash has the power to assert their dominance and demand to be touched in whichever way they desire, and they can even direct their sub on what to do with themselves. All with consent, of course!
In a comfortable environment with the correct boundaries and safe words put in place, this position is an exciting opportunity to experiment with power play and explore each other’s deepest fantasies.
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Sitting apart
Gaze into each other’s eyes and watch each other’s every stroke and rub with this visually appealing, seated sex position. It’s a great way to gain confidence and learn more about what turns your partner on.
Sit on opposite ends of the couch, far away enough that it stops you from touching or kissing each other’s bodies and face each other.
Hold hands, if you like, but focus on maintaining intense eye contact as you begin to masturbate.
While it might be hard to resist the full-frontal view of your lover’s body, keeping eye contact and really focusing on watching each other’s every touch, moan and gasp is super-hot, especially for couples who love watching each other masturbate.
Like to put on a show? Grab a rabbit vibrator and watch your partner go wild as you use it on yourself. Rabbit vibrators combine G-spot and clitoral stimulation, which could be key if you’re interested in learning how to squirt.
Practically touching
Get a VIP view of your lover’s face as you bring your sweet spots super close together. This position is particularly good for couples who might not be ready to explore penetration yet; teasing genital touching without actually doing it is sexy enough!
The bottom partner lies on their back, while the top partner straddles one of the bottom’s legs. The bottom raises their other leg and rests it against the top’s shoulder.
Once the leg is up, the top partner can scooch closer, bringing your genitals tantalizingly close together.
Ease gently into play with a good dollop of lube to give extra glide as you stroke, rub, and tease each other’s sweet spots. If the bottom partner finds this extended leg position a bit tough, they can bend the knee instead and keep their foot on the bed, with plenty of cushions propped under their back and neck.
Using a remote-controlled toy
From the other end of the bedroom, this sex position lets you and your partner can be in control of each other’s pleasure with the help of a remote-controlled sex toy.
One partner sits on a bed or on the floor with their legs crossed in a butterfly-like shape, as they use their remote-controlled toy and their free hand to touch themselves.
At the same time, the other partner can be sat in the same room or in another room with the toy’s remote control, eager and ready to surprise their lover with waves of delicious pleasure.
Handing over control can often be the only option that people in long-distance relationships have while being apart from each other. If you’re the partner holding the toy, not knowing what vibration pattern or speed is coming up next helps build up the excitement.
It’s also a great way to explore power dynamics, as the partner holding the remote can get satisfaction from knowing they’re making their lover feel good.
