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How Aging Can Improve Your Sex Life

Wine, cheese, George Clooney, and sex — some things truly get better with age.

The topic of aging and its impact on sex is not a new one; it’s been covered ad nauseam everywhere, from fashion magazines to quasi-medical online health publications and then some. But while the sources that report on sex and aging are vast and varied, the angle taken tends to be dishearteningly one-note: how to feign youth and how to deal with the “problem” that is being both a sexual being and ~gasp!~ a person of a ‘certain age.’

And though it’s true that aging can have some undesirable (but solvable!) effects on sexual function, it can also be accompanied by experience and knowledge that make your sex life far more enjoyable than it was in your younger years:

You know what you like

Do you remember the first time you indulged in masturbation? For many, discovering how much erotic power lies in their very own hands sparks an initial obsession to explore every inch of every erogenous zone and every possible way there is to please them. A large portion of the self-love club starts by pursuing pleasure through the touch of their hand, then progresses to making the most of household objects (think pillow humping and getting up close and personal with your shower head), eventually landing in the magical world of sex toys. And when you think about all the facets that go into sexual self-discovery, that oh-so-fun voyage is a lengthy one.

And, lucky you, you’ve likely put in the countless hours and are now left with a stellar understanding of what gets you off! You now know what your body craves in sexual scenarios. You know which hot spots make you gleeful when stimulated and what areas turn you off when touched and should be avoided. You know what speed, pressure, and stimulation types most suit your fancy. You know what steps to take when seeking a quickie O and the best scenic route for drawn-out pleasure sessions. You’re a seasoned scholar in the study of you, and that’s a beautiful thing.

But what you like does alter over time, as the aging process – both in early and late stages – is accompanied by changes to your libido, desire, and body. While the initial round of sexuality switch ups may have thrown you through a loop, you’ve now taken more than a few spins around the constantly evolving sexual development block and understand just how to tackle it, pulling from past experiences for an even more seamless transition with every new round of changes. So not only do you know what your stimulation preferences are today, but you have the tools to easily rediscover your erotic inclinations should they differ tomorrow.

How to take advantage of self-knowledge

C.O.M.M.U.N.I.C.A.T.E! You know what you want, so don’t be afraid to ask for it. Any lover worth their salt won’t be offended by respectfully delivered feedback; young bucks will likely appreciate actionable tips from someone older and wiser, while seasoned stallions will probably be excited to add new tricks to their sexual repertoire. Remember that a good sex partner cares more about your pleasure than their ego! So, if you have access to a sexy cheat sheet, why wouldn’t you share that with your partner?

Engage in an open dialogue before doing the deed to set yourselves up for success. Divulge your yays and nays, outlining not only what’s on the table but the best way to serve those dishes. Offer constructive feedback mid-bang to boost enjoyment almost instantly. Wish they’d lick to the left when they’re licking to the right? Offer oral guidance on their oral performance! Need a toy to reach the finish line? Teach your boo how to operate your fav! Have a chat after the fact to discuss what you both enjoyed and what you might want to switch up next time. The more you talk, the better the act will be for both of you.

Saucy Conversation Starters

Lovehoney Oh! Kinky Confessions Card Game (52 Pack)
(65)
$8.99

If you've always wanted to find out more about what your partner prefers in the bedroom, then grab yourself these cheeky cards and find out! With 52 sexy 'Would You Rather' questions, take it in turns to reveal your preferences (or opt for the forfeit). If you or your partner choose not to answer, then the person who read the question chooses a forfeit. Included with the cards is a list of suggestions to get your imagination going

What customers say: "I played this with my wife of 20 years and learnt lots of new things about her. It works as great foreplay to get you in the mood by introducing some new ideas and also making you think carefully about your othet halfs mind. With the suggestive ideas from the game in our minds we had great sex afterwards. The dare element adds some extra tension as well."

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You’ve grown into a better lover

What tends to follow the joyful discovery of self-pleasure is the joyful discovery of mutual touch. While you’re now no stranger to how wonderful partnered sex can be, early exploration likely left much to be desired. From awkward fumbling with the mechanics of sex acts to knowledge gaps in anatomy that can lead to playing dreaded games of “Where’s Waldo?” with your partner’s hot spots, it’s safe to say that inexperience is rarely a recipe for erotic bliss. But with years spent practicing and learning comes experience!

Whether your years pleasuring others were dedicated to a single steady partner, spread evenly over time to a handful of different lovers, or your ‘body count’ rivals that of the impressive Ms. Samantha Jones matters little. Experience is experience, and it’s the time and effort spent giving rather than the number of people you’ve given to that makes for a well-rounded lover.

You’ve put in the work trying out different techniques, making mistakes along the way, and learning from them. And all that working knowledge makes you a sexual superstar!

How to harness the full potential of being a sex pro:

You already have mad sex skills on deck, so imagine how unstoppable your pleasure-providing superpowers would be if you paired them with ergonomically designed sex toys that make implementing said skills almost effortless! Think of yourself like Wonder Woman and adult toys like her lasso of truth – while the end goal could be achieved without the help of a tool, the journey will be more spectacular and fashionable with showstopping gadgets by your side.

When it comes to feeding the desires of hot, mature bods, we highly recommend you treat them to luxury sex toys. Whether you have a trusty go-to toy lying around that could use an upgrade or are just starting to fill your toy box, high-end pleasure products have bells and whistles bound to please even hard-to-impress sexual explorers who have seemingly experienced it all. While premium toys do come with a higher price tag, the investment is more than worth it – not only do luxury toys offer the crème de la crème of their categories’ features, but their high-quality construction and materials give them a supremely long lifespan, giving you more ~bang~ for your buck. So, whatever it is that revs you and your paramours’ engines, you won’t regret having the very best version of it on hand (or in holes) for years to cum.

If you’d like a little extra shopping guidance before investing in a top-tier, top-dollar sex toy, the following qualities are a particularly good match for seniors:

Intuitive Controls:

Nobody likes fumbling with a buttload of buttons when they’re trying to get off, but doing an elaborate finger dance can be downright painful if you suffer from joint issues like arthritis. Go no-pain-all-gain by opting for toys with simple control panels (think 1-3 buttons placed near one another) or ones with remote or app control capability.

Ergonomic Designs:

Your body shouldn’t have to work hard for a toy to work well for your body! Mitigate mobility-related sex toy woes by choosing luxury products with ergonomic designs. Keep in mind that what makes a toy ergonomic will depend on its style. For instance, an ergonomic *wand massager may have a lengthy handle (as seen in the Lovehoney Deluxe Extra Powerful Rechargeable Wand Massager) that reaches your hot spots without you having to do much reaching yourself, whereas petite ergonomic sex toys like bullet vibrators may have textured easy-grip handles (as seen in the We-Vibe Tango X) that prevent slipping.

*PRO TIP: Wand massagers aren’t solely orgasmic – they’re also fab for all-over body use to work out aches and pains or simply relaxing with a non-erotic massage!

Range of Intensities and Patterns:

We’ve already covered how your body’s preferences can alter over time, so why spend the big bucks on a luxury toy that might not suit your fancy in the future? Sex toys with a wide range of pleasure patterns and intensities offer something for every stage of your desire so that you can enjoy them for the entirety of their incredibly long lifespans. Plus, variety is the spice of life, and hella settings offer hella opportunities for spice - the more settings there are, the more fun you can have!

Rumbly Vibrations:

If you’re purchasing a motorized sex toy, consider going for one with rumbly vibrations rather than buzzy vibrations. Too much buzz can cause temporary hand numbness during lengthy pleasure sessions, whereas rumbly vibrations only emit the good kind of tingles (I.e., in your erogenous zones, not your hands) regardless of how many hours you play. Another pro of rumbly vibrations is that they tend to resonate more deeply within the body. While this sex toy quality isn’t exclusively helpful for those in their golden years, it’s still good info to have! #themoreyouknow

Premium Picks for Every Preference

You’re not afraid to ask for a helping hand

Being young, hot, and able-bodied can come with a sense of ego, and a delicate one at that. When you’re accustomed to your body responding precisely how you want it to (think getting wet or hard at the drop of a hat), the times in which your body ‘misbehaves’ can come with undue shame. This shame can lead to unhealthy behaviors like not asking for what you want or need (like adding a vibrator to the mix!), trying to hide your situation and treat it in secret (like popping E.D. pills in the bathroom), or even avoiding sexual encounters altogether. And that’s no way to live your best sex life.

The more you encounter scenarios in which your body needs a lil push (which is bound to happen more frequently as you age), the more you realize it’s NBD. When sexual function in all of its states is normalized, performance pressure decreases tenfold, as do judgmental expectations of your partners. This mental freedom allows you to address the matter head-on so you can spend more time boning and less time worrying.

How to get the most from your handy sex helpers:

You probably already know what types of sexual aids are appropriate for your aging body’s specific needs, which is a fab start. But why just solve a situation when you could simultaneously add more pizazz to your sex sesh in one fell swoop? Multifunctional sexual aids can do just that.

Struggling to maintain an erection? Reach for a vibrating cock ring that doesn’t just keep things hard but also brings rumbly stimulation to you and your boo! Not as wet as you’d like to be? Make magic waterfalls with a flavored lube that also creates a tasty experience during oral play. Mobility problems making it difficult to get it on? Enlist the help of sexual positioners that not only take the pressure off your joints but also open up a whole new world of creative position possibilities! The right sexual aids can do more than solve problems but also intensify your experience in the sexiest of ways.

Double-Duty Sexual Aids

You’re more confident

For most people, the older you get, the surer of yourself you become. Ironically, our younger years, where our looks tend to be the most aligned with ideal societal beauty standards (perky tits, wrinkle-free skin, and all that youthful jazz), are often riddled with confidence issues. As you mature in both body and mind, you learn to let the little stuff go, understanding that perfection simply isn’t attainable.

Older folks have exposure to different bodies beyond the unrealistic depictions portrayed in mainstream media. You’ve seen a gaggle of bodies in all kinds of states, shapes, and sizes at the beach, in the gym locker room, in your bed, and even in the mirror as time alters your appearance. With this exposure comes the comprehension that “imperfections” like cellulite, asymmetrical body parts, and clogged pores are present in people more often than not – yes, even in the airbrushed models gracing the covers of fashion magazines.

This confidence allows you to remain present during sexual encounters, your mind now free from distracting self-deprecating or self-conscious thoughts. No more avoiding certain positions in fears they’ll be unflattering. No more rushing to turn the lights out before taking off your clothes in front of a partner. When you release yourself from body-conscious negativity, you’re left with more room to focus on pleasure.

How to cash in on your confidence:

Explore all the erotic things you’ve always wanted to experience, but your younger self was too self-conscious to try! Tackle that wild sex position 18-year-old you thought would highlight your body rolls. Buy that seductive lingerie set that low self-esteem previously told you that your body didn’t deserve. Indulge your inner exhibitionist with a saucy vacay at a nudist resort. The world is your oyster, and you’re now equipped with the confidence to dig in and devour all of its erotic bliss.

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