Pleasure Anatomy 101:
Everything You Need to Know About the Genitals and What They Like

In the absence of comprehensive sex ed that teaches foundational concepts like informed consent, bodily autonomy, and (gasp) pleasure many of us embark on our sexual journeys without a clearly signposted road map. We search around in the dark, driven by a very natural pleasure-seeking inclination, with varying degrees of “success.” Discovering your or your partner’s pleasure maps can be a meaningful and delightful experience. But many of us don’t get to delight in the process because of the onslaught of contradictory cultural and familial messaging around sexuality that shames us from an early age when we get curious about our bodies and their pleasure potential. Without supportive guidance, the exercise of seeking sexual empowerment and happiness can be frustrating, demoralizing and disappointing.

Our bodies are designed to experience pleasure

From the reward pathway in the brain to the sensitive nerve endings throughout our bodies, humans are literally wired for pleasure. In broad terms, our sexual pleasure is influenced by a few key components: the hormones in our body, the nerve endings and erectile tissue in our genitals, and our own sexual scripts, which are made up of what we have personally experienced in sexual contexts, messages received regarding sex and sexuality, and the beliefs we hold about ourselves and our sexuality. That is to say that how each of us responds to touch and sexual scenarios is unique, but the human body’s role in the process is easy to understand.

Orgasm is a physiological response to stimuli. Arousal is the process that primes the body for orgasm. In the arousal process, blood flows to the genitals making the nerve endings more sensitive to touch. What is neat about the human body is that arousal anywhere equals arousal everywhere. There is no hierarchy in regard to what turns you on. Kisses to the neck, erotic visuals or sounds, a vibrator to the nipples – all can serve the purpose of building arousal.

The role of hormones in arousal and sex

The balance of hormones in your body affects how you become aroused. Hormones also give us a helping hand in receiving sensual stimuli as well as contribute to the feelings of connection, relaxation, and joyfulness we experience during and after sexual pleasure of any kind.

Testosterone: People assigned male at birth (AMAB) have higher levels of testosterone and lower levels of estrogen and progesterone than those who are not AMAB. Testosterone contributes to higher levels of sexual desire and rapid arousal which increases in a direct, linear manner.

Estrogen & Progesterone: Individuals assigned female at birth (AFAB) have higher levels of estrogen and progesterone (and lower levels of testosterone) than people who aren’t AFAB. Estrogen and progesterone fluctuate during menstruation and greatly increase during pregnancy. Arousal in an estrogen-dominant body increases slowly and can fluctuate throughout the arousal process.

Noradrenaline: Noradrenaline is a neurotransmitter/hormone involved in arousal that contributes to the intensity of sexual experiences.

Prolactin: Prolactin is a polypeptide hormone that increases during orgasmic experiences and is linked to feelings of relaxation.

Dopamine: Dopamine is a central hormone in the reward system. It is released during pleasurable experiences, like orgasm, and contributes to the positive association we make with pleasure of all kinds.

Oxytocin: Oxytocin is a hormone that contributes to the muscular contractions that accompany orgasmic response and fosters feelings of connection and bonding, often referred to as the “love hormone.”

The role of erectile tissue in arousal and orgasm

Erectile tissue is spongy tissue that engorges with blood in the arousal process and gets larger and stiffer with the increased blood flow that fills it up. The penis, clitoris, perineal sponge, and nipples all contain erectile tissue, meaning they typically engorge with blood and increase in size as the body becomes aroused. Interestingly, blood flow to the spongy erogenous tissue also primes the erogenous zones for stimulation and can make them more responsive to touch.

Erectile Tissue in the Penis: The penis consists of the corpus spongiosum in the center and two corpus cavernosum on either side. Blood flows to the corpora cavernosa in the arousal process, which causes the penis to enlarge and become erect.

Erectile Tissue in the Clitoris: The internal clitoris is composed of two corpora cavernosa, which are erectile tissues that extend from the clitoral glans to the pubic bone. Like the penis, this erectile tissue engorges with blood and enlarges the clitoris during the arousal process.

Erectile Tissue in the Nipples: The nipples also contain erectile tissue that behaves exactly like the erectile tissue in our genitals does.

As erectile tissue fills with blood, these nerve-rich areas of the body swell and, as a result, the tissue becomes more sensitive and responsive to touch. You may have noticed that sensual touch prior to arousal can feel overwhelming or even somewhat painful. However, the same touch once you’re warmed up can feel great. The blood flowing to your erectile tissue primes it for pleasure, which is why it is so important to take the time your body needs to become aroused. Your pleasure explorations will be more fulfilling all around when you’re fully aroused.

The sensitive nerve endings in our genitals

The human body hosts a network of nerves that runs through both the internal and external portion of the genitals, serving a variety of functions. These nerve endings affect how we respond to different types of stimuli.

Pelvic Nerve: The pelvic nerve is a broad network of nerves that controls the bladder, bowels, and the sensations we experience in the pelvis. The pelvic nerves control automatic pelvic functions such as the coordination of the pelvic floor muscles, which contract and release during arousal and orgasm. The pelvic nerve connects terminates at the vaginal canal and root of the penis and has branch extensions into the rectum.

Pudendal Nerve: The pudendal nerve is part of the pelvic nerve network. It is the main somatic nerve that controls the sensory functions of the genitals. It extends from the sacral spine (S2-S4) through the perineal region (the anus, vagina and penis) and ends in the dorsal nerve which runs externally through the head of the penis or clitoris.

Vagus Nerve: The vagus nerve runs from the brain stem to parts of the colon and pelvic floor, contributing to sensitivity and the parasympathetic control of the pelvic region. What this means in pleasure terms is that orgasmic response is reliant on these deep extensions of the vagus nerve; when you stimulate the urethral sponge (the g-area and the prostate) you access the vagus nerve, which creates a full-body experience because that nerve wraps around the whole body.

The spongy tissue in our genitals is highly innervated, meaning it is full of nerves. The engorgement of this tissue with blood as we become aroused improves our access to these sensitive nerve endings. With targeted touch such as massage, vibration, licking, thrusting and grinding, these nerve endings activate the motor functions of the pelvic floor muscles. This results in the contraction and release of the muscles that builds the body up to an orgasmic release, or waves of orgasmic response in the case of multiple orgasms.

Vulva anatomy

"Vulva” is the proper term for the external portion of the genitals on people assigned female at birth (AFAB). That’s right- the vagina is actually only the internal part of the genitals for AFAB folks, specifically the vaginal canal. This misnomer is a shining example of how PIV sex (penis-in-vagina) sex has dominated even how we understand basic anatomy. The vulva consists of many juicy, sensitive bits, including the ones listed below:

Clitoris

The clitoris is a highly sensitive, complex part of the body located at the top and sides of the vulva that contains both internal and external portions. Hooded by the labia, the head of the clitoris (the glans) is literally just the tip of the iceberg.

In addition to the glans, the clitoris contains two legs (the crura) that extend outward and two vestibular bulbs, commonly referred to as the clitoral bulbs, that extend down and wrap around each side of the vaginal canal. The clitoris is stimulated by virtually all sex acts by nature of its sprawling structure. Vaginal penetration targets the vestibule through the walls of the vagina, broad vulva massage and grinding access the legs of the clitoris, and the head of the clit is generally the focused target of oral sex, manual stimulation, and vibration (and rightly so, as the head of the clitoris contains the densest concentration of nerve endings on the human body!).

Labia

Labia are external skin folds, commonly referred to as “vaginal lips,” that surround the vaginal opening. They are often asymmetrical and are nerve-rich tissue that respond to light vibration, licking, and lubricated massage. There are two sets of labia:

• External Labia (Labia Majora): Two hair-bearing skin folds that surround and protect the labia minora.
• Internal Labia (Labia Minora): Two hairless folds of skin located inside the labia majora that surround the vestibular bulbs

Perineum

The area between the vulva and the anus. The perineal sponge consists of erectile tissue, covered by sensitive skin, that engorges with blood and can be stimulated via massage or vibration of the perineum. Perineal stimulation can even lead to orgasm.

Pubic Mound (Mons Pubis)

A fatty mound covering the pubic bone that is responsive to deep massage and grinding. The shaft of both the clitoris and the penis extends to the inside of the body and can be stimulated through the pubic mound.

Urethral Opening & Skene’s Glands

The urethra is located above the vaginal opening and carries urine outside the body from the bladder. The urethral opening is where urine exits our body. On either side of the urethra are the Skene’s glands that look like little fish gills. Fluid is released from the Skene’s glands in the orgasmic release known as squirting.

Vaginal Opening

The opening of the vagina leads to the vaginal canal. Roughly 90% of the nerve endings present in the vagina are located in the vaginal opening, making it the most sensitive part of the vagina.

Vestibule

Vestibule are two bulbous structures surrounding the opening of the vagina and are also part of the internal portion of clitoris. While the vestibular bulbs are internal, they can be stimulated through rubbing or massage between the labia and on either side of the vaginal opening.

Vaginal anatomy

The vagina as a whole does not have as many nerve endings or concentrations of nerves as the vulva. The vagina is, however, surrounded by spongy erectile tissue that can be responsive to massage, deep vibration, and well-lubricated thrusting.

Cervix

The cervix is the lower part of the uterus that connects to the vaginal canal. During the arousal process, the vaginal canal elongates, the cervix pulls up, and access to the anterior vaginal wall, which can be responsive to deep thrusting, is made possible. Cervical stimulation can be painful and uncomfortable in the absence of sufficient arousal and the most responsive area of the cervix to sexual stimulation is the back side, which is only accessible after the vagina has become aroused.

Urethral Sponge (AKA the G-Spot)

Though the urethral sponge is also called the “G-spot,” it’s actually not a ‘spot’ at all; it’s more of an area or zone. The urethral sponge is a region of spongy tissue that surrounds the length of the urethra. The sensitive area of the urethral sponge runs from the vaginal opening to roughly 2-3 inches inside the vagina. The G-spot is analogous to the prostate and tends to respond positively to deep massage and vibration.

Penis anatomy

It is a misconception that the anatomy of the penis and the vulva and vagina are dissimilar. As you can see from the diagram below, the general structure and layout of the perineal region (AKA the genitals) is quite similar in all bodies. The penis is essentially an enlarged clitoris, consisting of a base, shaft, glans, and foreskin. In fact, in embryonic development the genitals develop between 8-12 weeks, and we all start with the same building blocks. The phallus develops into a clitoris or a penis, dependent on the presence of androgens (which are only present in male embryos); in this stage of development, the urogenital folds will either fuse together to form the scrotum or remain as separate folds and form into the labia minora.

Head (Glans)

The head of the penis is the nerve-rich area at the end of the shaft. Like the clitoris, the glans is hooded by foreskin unless circumcision takes place. The corona is the bulbous portion of the head that protrudes from the shaft. The underside of the head contains the densest concentration of nerve endings on the penis.

Frenulum

The frenulum is a V-shaped ridge located beneath the head on the underside of the penis. The frenulum connects the foreskin to the head of the penis and happens to be the most nerve-rich part of the penis. A small piece of the frenulum remains in even uncircumcised penises.

Foreskin (Prepuce)

A loose fold of skin that covers the head of the penis and preserves the sensitivity of the nerve endings in the glans.

Perineum

The area between the scrotum and the anus. The perineal sponge consists of erectile tissue, covered by sensitive skin, that engorges with blood and can be stimulated via massage or vibration of the perineum. Perineal massage can even lead to orgasm.

Pubic Mound (Mons pubis)

A fatty mound covering the pubic bone that tends to respond positively to deep massage and grinding. The penis shaft extends inside the body and you can stimulate its internal portion through the pubic mound.

Shaft

The shaft of the penis is the long tubular structure that protrudes from the body and consists of erectile tissue. Inside the shaft is made up of the corpus spongiosum and corpus cavernosum. The corpus spongiosum in the center prevents the urethra from closing during an erection. The two columns, corpus cavernosum, on either side fill with blood in the arousal process. Pressure traps the blood flow, which causes the penis to enlarge and become erect.

Urethra

A slim canal inside the penis that runs from the bladder to the tip of the penis. It also crosses through the prostate, where the ejaculatory duct receives sperm and fluids that create semen, which is ejaculated out of the urethra at climax.

Anal anatomy

Despite some still considering it taboo, anal stimulation can bring a great deal of pleasure since the rectum and tissue surrounding the anus are highly sensitive. The rectum, unlike the vagina, does not self-lubricate. Lubrication is a must in order to experience any pleasurable backdoor explorations.

Anal Sphincter

The anal sphincter is a muscular ring with internal and external muscles that control the opening and closing of the anus. The sphincter can contract and release involuntarily in the arousal process. Sphincter contractions can create suction, which is why all anal play must involve toys or objects with a base that prevents them from being pulled into the rectum. As we say in the world of sex ed, “without a base, without a trace.” The sphincters are also sensitive membranes made up of many nerve endings, which contribute to the pleasure or pain associated with anal play.

Anus

The anus is the opening to the rectum and the exit door of the digestive track. The second highest concentration of nerve endings in the human body resides in the anus. The anus is responsive to external touch, vibration, and licking. Penetration also stimulates the sensitive nerve endings in the anus, which extend about a little over an inch inside the body.

Prostate Gland

The prostate is a gland found in people assigned male at birth that wraps around the urethra, produces seminal fluid, and helps push semen into the urethra. The prostate is surrounded by nerve endings and can be directly stimulated through anal penetration or indirectly stimulated through perineal massage.

Rectum

The rectum is part of the digestive system and is located between the sigmoid colon and the anus. Penetration in the rectum gives access to the prostate or the underside of the vaginal wall.

It's important to note that the abundance of nerve endings in the anal region is why anal sex can be both pleasurable and painful, depending on how you engage in it. It is important to know the dos and don’ts of anal sex before diving in. For more info on safe, pleasurable anal play explore our guides, How to Have Anal Sex (how-to-have-anal-sex) and How to Have an Anal Orgasm (how-to-have-an-anal-orgasm).

The PC Muscles

Last, but not least, the pelvic floor muscles are the unsung heroes of orgasms, as they play a central role. The PC (pubococcygeus) muscles stretch from the pubic bone to the coccyx and form part of the pelvic floor. PC muscles involuntarily contract in the arousal process. Both the strength and elasticity of the PC muscles are tied to the intensity and duration of orgasms. To learn more about how to increase the strength of your PC muscles, read our Guide on Strengthening Your Pelvic Floor (how-to-strengthen-your-pelvic-floor).