7 Things You Should Know Before Pegging Someone

on Apr 27, 2018

You're partner's asked you to peg them.

You've said yes.

You already know the basics: warm up, use lube, talk to your partner etc...

But what about what you don't know?

We picked the brains of several couples who regularly peg to find out what you can expect from your first pegging experience.

This is what they told us...

(Yesterday's blog: '7 Things You Should Know Before Being Pegged')

1. You Know Nothin' (Dong Beau)

As with most sex play, your first time is unlikely to be your best, and the same goes for pegging.

If this is your first time pegging, you're probably not ready for how talkative pegging needs to be, or how you'll need to practice "driving" your new temporary appendage.

Additionally, if you have pegged someone before, but this is your first time with a new partner, don't assume you know how it'll go.

Most peggers say that pegging with a new partner is like pegging for the first time again, so be ready to re-learn most of that you thought you knew.

2. Let's Talk About Sex (Peggee)

For pegging to be a successful endeavour, you must be comfortable talking with your partner about sex and pleasure in the moment.

Unlike people with a penis, you'll be penetrating your partner with an appendage which you can't feel through.

Therefore, it's vital that you and your partner communicate continuously throughout play so you know what's working (and what isn't) for them.

Of course, talking before you get down to business is super-important too.

You need to establish what your partner is hoping to get from this experience, and how you can help them achieve it.

3. Practice Makes Perfect

First, watch your partner pleasure themselves anally to see what sort of depth and pace of penetration works for them.

Once you have an idea of the kind of sensation they like, then you can get involved.

Forget the strap-on for now; just focus on using toys manually for the time being.

Then, when you get to the point that you're hitting all the right spots with a toy in your hand, you can think about moving onto hip-thrusting butt fun.

Top tip: Don't just practice with your partner. Get used to wearing a strap-on and controlling your new attachment on your own. You'll be surprised how much getting used to it takes.

4. You're Only as Good as Your Tools

When it comes to choosing equipment, the receiver (the peggee) should be in charge of picking the appendage, and the giver (the pegger) should choose the harness.

For the harness, you'll want something comfortable and not too heavy, particularly for your first time.

You'll also want to think about other features like the fit, look and function of your harness.

Do you need a harness that's machine washable? Or crotchless? Or assless?

Do you want one with a vibrator pocket for your own pleasure, or extra padding for super-duper comfort?

And finally, you'll need to make sure that the dildo your partner wants you to peg them with fits in your harness securely, so always check the O-ring size(s) for your harness.

5. Domin-ish?

Remember that it is actually your partner (the receiver) who's in charge throughout play, not you.

Although a lot of couples explore pegging to add a new power dynamic to sex, it is always the sub who calls the shots in these scenes.

Not only do they hold 'The Ultimate Power of the Safe Word', but as the receiving partner, they are at a slightly higher risk of getting injured.

STOP PANICKING. Injury is highly unlikely as long as you follow the usual steps for anal play (lots of lube, take it slow etc), but all sex comes with some risks.

It is for this reason that you must follow your partner's lead and let them set the pace and depth of penetration.

One way to do this is to get yourself into either a doggy, spooning or them-on-top position and let your partner ride you.

Forget revealing your hip-thrusting inner Elvis until you've had plenty of practice like this together.

And, of course, as with all power play, always set up a safe word* before you start.

6. Better Work it Out

Now, this is probably no surprise to you but as a person with a vulva, you're probaly not as used to flexing your Thrusty Muscles (yes, that's a medical term**) as a person with a penis.

In fact, be prepared for pegging to introduce you to a whole world of butt and leg muscles you never knew you had!

Pegging can be strenuous. No, that doesn't mean it's always hard or fast, but it does require regular, repetitive movement, which can be exhausting.

It'll take you time to build strength in this area for really stamina-driven sessions. You can help build your stamina by working on your core and glute strength outside of the bedroom.

In the mean time, allowing your partner to do most of the movement by riding you will enable you to practice pegging, without hobbling about like Gotham'sPenguin for days after.

7. Aftercare

This is both a physical and emotional type of aftercare.

Chances are, if you've followed all of the above, physically your partner is feeling great!

Emotionally, however, pegging (particularly first-time pegging) can be a little overwhelming for the receiver, so it's important to check in with them now and then.

Power play relies on shaking up the power dynamic of your relationship in order to work, but it's vital that you reset that balance after play. Aftercare is about reassurance, intimacy and finding your status quo again.

Have a cuddle, discuss your session, share sweet nothings (or your version of sweet nothings) and have a chat about what you loved/didn't love about the experience you've just shared.

And remember that consent is an on-going conversation. After trying it, your partner or you may decide that pegging isn't for you, and that you don't want to do it again.

So, be prepared that your first pegging experience could also be your last.

*A safe word is word or phrase which the receiving partner can use to stop play immediately. It should be agreed upon before play commences.

**May or may not be a medical term.

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Written by Jess.

Originally published on Apr 27, 2018. Updated on Aug 5, 2020