How to Use a Strap-On Dildo

Discover boundless excitement with strap-on play

The very definition of a couple's plaything, strap-on sex toys are designed to switch up the sexual dynamics in your relationship. They can be used by straight people, gay people, bi people, pansexual people... pretty much anyone!

In this guide, we'll cover all the information you need if you're looking to introduce a strap-on to your playtime, including how to choose them and how to use them.

Video: How to Use a Strap-On Dildo

Above: The Lovehoney experts share their tips for how to have strap-on sex.

What is pegging?

Pegging refers to; when a person without a penis uses a strap-on to penetrate a person with a penis. While lesbians have been using strap-ons on each other for a long time, strap-on play has recently reached the mainstream for hetero couples too.

“Ladies, don’t be scared of pegging! It’s such a power trip and an amazing turn on to see your man so vulnerable and having no control. Lads, honestly, give pegging a go! You won’t regret it.” - Lady nymphOOO

But let’s get the silliest questions out of the way first, does pegging make you gay? No. Is pegging fun? Absolutely.

While some people may worry about engaging in certain sexual acts, we say, as long as everyone is enjoying themseleves, who cares? Afterall, the body parts that you enjoy having stimulated have nothing to do with who you're attracted to.

How to choose a dildo that fits your harness

Most strap-on harness kits have either a hole or an O-ring that you slot the dildo into. They usually come with at least one dildo to start you off. However, once you discover the joys of strap-on sex you'll be hungry to try dildos in new shapes and sizes.

"Don't forget that you can use cock sleeves and extensions to give extra length and girth to your dildos." - Gyrator53

Looking for a shiny new dildo for your harness? Or do you already have a favourite dildo and want to use it in a harness, but you’re not sure what size you need? Whatever your query, we can help.

To choose a dildo that will fit in your harness, start by measuring the internal diameter of your O-ring. Make sure you're only measuring the space the dildo will go through, not the full width of the O-ring.

To choose an O-ring or harness, measure the circumference of your dildo. Make sure you measure the part just above the flared base (where it will sit in the O-ring).

How to put a dildo in your harness

Take our word for it, it's easiest to get your dildo in place before you put your harness on. If your harness has an interchangeable O-ring, make sure the O-ring is attached to the harness before you start.

“The harness itself was very easy to use and adjust the size to fit you snugly and having a removable O ring allows you to use this with a large range of toys is a very big bonus.” - Matt!

If your dildo is long and smooth with a flat, flared base like the Lovehoney 7 Inch Curved Silicone Dildo, you can just slip it into the O-ring.

If your dildo is large, has a big kink in it or has testicles like the Lifelike Lover Realistic Dildo 6 Inch, you’ll need to approach it from the other end. Gently pinch the flared base and work it through the O-ring.

Either way, a little water-based lubricant can help ease the dildo through the O-ring.

How to use a strap-on correctly

To get the most from your new strap-on, experiment with speed, thrust depth, and position. There are many ways to enjoy your new strap-on. But, it does depend on your sexual taste.

However, we have a few pieces of advice to make your strap-on sex easier and more comfortable.

"Although we do not do pegging in a femdom context, empowerment and domination / role reversal can be great psychological enhancements." - SSLH

Use lube

Whether you're penetrating a vagina or an anus, a good lubricant is a must. Remember, if your dildo is made of silicone, don't use a silicone lube - go for water-based instead.

Take it slowly

It's important that both of you take the time beforehand to 'warm up' and relax into your play. This is particularly important for anal penetration.

“With a bit of lube they slide in perfectly and the different sizes mean you can slowly build up as you go along.” - Misss J

Try experimenting with fingers and smaller toys first. Only move onto strap-on penetration when you feel ready.

Communicate

Remember, the wearer won't be able to feel their new appendage. So, if you're receiving, you'll have to tell your lover what feels good and what doesn't.

"It is the ultimate form of trust for a couple to engage in having sex with a strap-on." - wee_bear

If you're the giver, be sure to listen not only to your partner's words, but their reactions. Let them guide the depth and speed of penetration.

Perfect your position

Find a position that is most comfortable for both of you, and that puts the receiver in control. Some popular favourites are them-on-top, doggy style, and spooning.

Agree a safe word

A safe word is a word or phrase that, once said, ceases play immediately. They are vital for safety and peace of mind during play.

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