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Anticipation is sweet, and satisfying your desires is even sweeter. That’s why the countdown to a big event – like Christmas – is almost as fun as the day itself.
This week, we’re talking about the magic of forward planning and indulgently drawn-out foreplay. (Bonus points if you’ve already ordered your sex toy advent calendar...)
How?
First, forgive us for mentioning the C-word in October, but this week is all about thinking ahead. Pick a date for some alone time with your lover and treat it like a commitment you wouldn’t postpone – even if you live together and see each other all the time!
Choose something from your advent calendar (who says you have to wait until December 1st anyway?!) or sex toy collection and start a conversation with your partner about it. Why does it excite you? When and where would you want to try it? This kicks foreplay off early, as you get excited together.
A few days before your date, turn up anticipation even more by sending your partner a sexy photo and telling them it’s a sneak peek of what’s to come (pun intended). Next time you’re heading out, give them a passionate kiss goodbye and mention some specific detail of your date night you’re excited about, like, “I can’t wait to kiss you all over your body on Saturday.”
These little gestures get you both looking forward to your date night so that when it arrives, sex feels like a satisfying reward for all that planning and patience.
Christmas won’t be the only thing coming...
Why?
Sexperts like Esther Perel and Emily Nagoski are firm believers that the best sex isn’t always spontaneous – especially when you’re in a long-term relationship or find it difficult to make time and get in the mood.
They recommend regularly scheduling sex, because it helps to clear away distractions and make intimacy feel like more of a priority in your relationship. In fact, when couples see planning sex as a positive thing, they tend to have sex more frequently.
Then, there’s the novelty of trying something new. Couples who try new and exciting things together tend to feel more desire for each other. They might have sex more often and enjoy it more, which can make the relationship happier overall.
For this, we love a flirty game or sex toy kit, which can slowly introduce you to new sensations or unlock shared fantasies. The Lovehoney Enjoy Advent Calendar, which is part of our ‘Love, Lily’ edit with Lily Allen, is full of beginner-friendly surprises. And, with a door to open every day, you’ve got plenty to explore when date night rolls around.
Make it even better
The fun part about scheduling sex is you can think ahead and bring in something new to make the experience more satisfying – such as aphrodisiac chocolates or a sexy card game.
Before penetration of any kind, try sucking on your partner’s clit or using a clitoral suction toy like the Womanizer Liberty 2. Keep the intensity really low to tease them until they’re begging for more. That’s when you might slide a lubed finger or penis inside to pleasure their G-spot, building the sensations for as long as possible.
If either of you has a penis, a cock ring may help you last longer during drawn-out sessions. They work by restricting blood flow, keeping your erection engorged and sensitive. Just slather your member with lube before sliding the ring to the base of your penis – or behind the balls, depending on your ring.
Make it even easier
If you don’t have any couples’ games or sex toy kits at home, keep it simple with a scheduled date and intimate touching. For example, you could wash your partner’s back in the bath or give them a sexy foot rub that leads to toe-sucking.
Or, treat them to an erotic tarot reading, where the card they choose predicts what sexual adventures you’ll embark on later. The point is to spend time together relaxing, building arousal, and trying new things. You don’t need any expensive gear to get started.
Make it even kinkier
Hidden inside one or two of our advent calendars, you might find some wrist restraints or bondage rope, as well as nipple suckers or clamps. For a sensual, lightly kinky date night, try securing one partner’s wrists comfortably above their head. Then, apply the nipple toys and focus on kissing your partner’s neck or inner thighs.
After a few minutes, kiss your way to their chest and gently remove the nipple toys. The blood will come rushing into the skin and their nipples will be highly sensitive to touch. Point your tongue and firmly flick the nipple with it. Then lick the nipple with a flat tongue or kiss it with soft, warm lips. The contrast will send shivers down your lover’s spine.
