How to Use a Fleshlight

In this guide: What’s a Fleshlight? | How to use a Fleshlight | How to clean it | Tips for playing hands-free | Fleshlight sex positions

There are some things your hands just can’t do – and that’s where Fleshlight comes in. Few moments compare to sliding into a warm, wet toy and letting your fantasies run wild.

These male masturbators are famous for having soft, realistic “skin” and intriguing inner textures. But do you know how to use a Fleshlight to make the most of its premium features?

This guide will show you what sets a Fleshlight toy apart and how to use it properly – including care tips and positions to try. You’ll also hear from Lovehoney Forum members on what works for them.

Only got time for a quickie?

If you’re Fleshlight in hand and just want to get started, here’s what you need to know in a nutshell. Otherwise, read the full article for more detailed tips and advice.

• Fleshlight is a brand of sex toys for penises which simulate the sensation of penetrative sex

• Most Fleshlights look similar on the outside (a bit like a large flashlight) but inside they have intriguing textures that hug and stimulate the penis

• You must clean your Fleshlight after each use and always dry thoroughly before storing

• Don’t be a dry hero – always use lube before sliding your penis inside the toy

• Lie back and enjoy the sensation of masturbating with your toy, or get on your knees and thrust your hips to feel more like you’re having sex

• You can adjust the cap on your Fleshlight to increase or remove the suction sensation – you can also warm it before you play

• Finally, don’t keep your Fleshlight all to yourself – it can feel incredible when you bring toys to partnered sex (check out our illustrated Fleshlight positions below!)

Fleshlight is a brand of sex toys for men which is known for making masturbators shaped like a vagina, mouth, or anus. The hard outer shell looks a bit like a flashlight, but the soft inner sleeve is as close to feeling like a real body part as you can get with a sex toy. Hence the name.

The soft, pliable SuperSkin material is designed to imitate the feel of real skin, while internal ridges and bumps tease your sensitive penis. As @Gareth puts it, Fleshlights might look the same on the outside, but “the texture of the sleeve can change the experience more than you think it would.”

Some Fleshlight toys are modelled after popular porn stars like Riley Reid, but you don’t have to go lifelike if you’re not interested in that. The Fleshlight x Lovehoney Masterstroke is transparent, which lets you enjoy the visual of your penis sliding in and out of the toy.

To use a Fleshlight, lube up your penis and the entrance to the toy. Slowly guide your erect penis into the opening and let your personal rhythm take over. It’s easy to use your Fleshlight, but a few simple tips can add a little extra oomph to your orgasm:

Wash it first

If your Fleshlight is fresh out of the box, it’ll come with a light coating of cornstarch to keep the SuperSkin material fresh and smooth. You should rinse it off with warm water before you play, but don’t worry if some residue remains after rinsing, that’s completely normal.

Warm it up

It’s tempting to grab your toy and get to work, but a quick warm up will make it feel even better – and more like a real vagina. Remove the inner sleeve and let it soak in a bowl of warm (not hot!) water for 10 minutes. Do the same with a bottle of lube to intensify the effect.

Grab some lube

Sex is always better with lube, no matter if you’re playing with your hand, a toy, or a person. With plenty of lube, your toy will feel wet (which is already a good start) and chafe less.

Grab a water-based lubricant to avoid damaging your toy and apply it generously to both the Fleshlight sleeve and your penis for a smooth entry. Depending on how long you play, don’t hesitate to pause and add more.

PSA: Don’t use spit! Spit play can be hot to experiment with a partner, but it’s not particularly hygienic and won’t effectively reduce friction.

Decide if you’re playing cap on or off

On the end of the hard outer shell of your Fleshlight, you’ll find a cap. Adjusting the cap affects the amount of suction you feel while using your toy. If you don’t enjoy the feeling of suction, just take it off and use your Fleshlight like a regular stroker.

For intense stimulation, keep the cap on. Some penis-owners find it erotic feeling their hard-on tighten inside the Fleshlight, which is more achievable if the cap is screwed quite tight.

Of course, you don’t have to stick to a permanent setting! Try starting with the cap on loosely for low suction. Every minute or so, tighten the cap slightly and feel the sensation become more intense.

Slide in and thrust (slowly)

With the same casualness as sliding into someone’s DMs, ease your penis into your Fleshlight, letting your erection fill the sleeve and even get harder.

Start slowly, then work up to a pace that feels good without it being challenging. There’s no one to impress, so just go with what feels good to you and don’t be shy. Let yourself make whatever noises feel natural and fill your thoughts with a good fantasy. If you’re totally new to self-pleasure, check out our guide on How to Masturbate for Men.

Try edging

If you want to try something new, it’s the perfect time for edging. Edging is when you bring yourself close to orgasm but stop (or slow down) just before orgasm. You repeat this process until you can’t hold it anymore. When you do finally come, it can feel pretty explosive. Some guys even find edging helps get control over ejaculation and build stamina in the bedroom.

Switch up your position

It sounds simple, but switching positions when jacking off can make the sensations more or less intense – or just introduce a sexy bit of novelty to your routine. Try these solo masturbation positions next time you use your Fleshlight:

• The Classic: Your Fleshlight journey will probably begin lying on your back, and there’s no need to switch it up if this is what appeals to you the most. It’s the most common position because it’s comfortable and easy.

• Solo Doggy Style: Get on all fours and use one hand to hold your Fleshlight. Rocking or thrusting your hips simulates the feeling of sex with a partner, so this position can feel even more erotic than lying on your back.

• Lovin’ the Wall: Standing up introduces a bit of tension to your body and gives you that ‘weak at the knees’ feeling when masturbating. Lean against your bedroom or shower wall while holding your toy in the other hand – or get a shower mount so you can lean with both hands.

Later, you’ll get more tips for using your Fleshlight hands-free. We’ll also talk about which sex positions you can try with a partner which also leave room for Fleshlight play.

Clean up after

Cleaning your toy after each play session will keep it in good condition for longer and stop bacteria growing on it that could give you an infection. Luckily, it’s pretty easy to do: @aFludge summarizes, “Cleaning for me is easy enough, open it up, pull it apart, flush with hot water and let dry.” Check out our detailed steps below.

Unlike many other sex toys, Fleshlight recommends never cleaning the inner sleeve with soap, as it can deteriorate its quality. Here’s what you need to do:

• Remove the sleeve from the case and set it to one side

• Wash the sleeve thoroughly under the faucet, until all lube and bodily fluids have washed away

• Be sure not to let the water get too hot as this will damage the texture of your toy

• Spray your toy with a no-rinse sex toy cleaner, such as Lovehoney Fresh

• Let it air dry completely in a well-ventilated spot, out of direct sunlight

• Apply renewal powder, which is a fine, cornstarch-like powder designed to restore the soft, realistic feel of the Fleshlight’s SuperSkin material after cleaning

Who says you must use your hands to orgasm? A Fleshlight can’t work magic, but it can be wedged (or “sandwiched”) between surfaces like two pillows or a couch cushion, letting you thrust with your hips, just like penetrative sex. Take a position that feels natural to the movements. For example, when wedged between pillows, @Southuk6 likes to go on “all fours and go for it like you would [in] Missionary.”

Of course, you might want to get tactical to keep the toy steady, like strapping pillows with a couple of suit ties or belts. Otherwise, you can opt for convenience with a shower mount, which sticks to your bathroom tiles and holds your masturbator securely in place. And can we take a moment to talk about how fun shower sex is – both with a partner or Fleshlight?! It's steamy, stimulates all your senses, and doesn’t get easier to clean up. Kissing in the rain might be romantic, but an orgasm in the shower is even more memorable.

There’s nothing wrong with keeping your Fleshlight all to yourself – or introducing it to your relationship. Using sex toys with a partner gives you a chance to explore different sensations and fantasies together.

“If I’m using it on him, he’s normally giving me oral while sitting on his face and I jerk him off with his Fleshlight,” says @hornywife1, demonstrating a fantastic toy-inspired sex position that we’ll explore in more detail below. “We’ve found it can bring another element to bedroom play,” adds @Sensualcouple2016.

It could unintentionally spice up your sex life as the toy did for @kentcouple1990, who says: “Actually got caught last night. I was upstairs and partner was coming to bed. Better reaction than I thought as she just joined in!”

To get the party started, here are some crowd-pleasing positions to try with a Fleshlight: