How to Have a Prostate Orgasm

In this guide: Who can have a prostate orgasm? | How to have a prostate orgasm | Best prostate massager | Why are they so good? | How long does it take? | What if I can’t?

You’ve probably heard of the G-spot, but what about the P-spot? This pleasure point often gets overlooked but, just like the G-spot, can be secret to intense orgasms that feel like they take over your whole body.

If you’ve been wanting to try a P-spot orgasm but can’t quite get it right, you’re in for a treat. In this how-to, we’ll walk you through exactly how to have a prostate orgasm, tips to prepare, and different sex toys you can try to bring your O to the next level.

Only got time for a quickie?

Short on time? Here’s a quick rundown of the most important stuff to get you started:

• A prostate orgasm means stimulating the prostate until you come. It’s part of anal play, and it can feel amazing for many people.

• You can stimulate the prostate internally or externally. Reach the prostate with a finger or toy like a prostate massager. Or, rub, stroke, or press on the taint — the area of skin between the genitals and anus.

• Hygiene is important. You need to make sure your hands, anus, and any toys you use are clean before and after prostate play. You can douche or use the bathroom beforehand to make things less messy, if you want.

• Don’t forget the lube. Use lots and lots of anal lube for prostate play — and go slowly!

• Experiment with different sensations like a butt plug, prostate massager, or just your fingers. This can help you figure out what you like and what you want to change up.

• If at first, you don’t succeed, it’s okay — we promise. A prostate orgasm isn’t always the easiest to accomplish. It might take several tries and definitely takes some patience. But practice makes perfect, right?

A prostate orgasm is when you climax from stimulating the prostate gland (P-spot, or aka a male g-spot). People who are assigned male at birth have a prostate. Most people can find it by placing their finger a few inches inside the anus. You can directly stimulate the gland with a finger or a toy.

Or, indirectly hit this love button by pleasuring the perineum, or taint. This area, along with the anus and prostate, can feel really good when touched. “The anus has an abundance of nerve endings that can be stimulated for sexual pleasure,” says Javay Fry-Nekrasova, sex educator at Lovehoney.

A prostate orgasm can be wet or dry. What? Well, the purpose of the prostate is to make the fluid in semen for sperm to travel through to the penis. When you have a penile orgasm, this fluid comes out as ejaculate. So:

• A dry prostate orgasm is a non-ejaculatory orgasm

• A wet prostate orgasm is when you ejaculate prostate fluid, usually when you stimulate the prostate and masturbate at the same time

Ready to get started? If this is your first time, take a deep breath and manage your expectations. That perfect sexy session takes practice! Let’s break it down, step by step.

Get clean

Words like “hygiene” and “hand-washing” kind of take the sexy out of the experience. Butttt any type of anal play brings the possibility of poop and harmful bacteria, and no one wants to think of getting sick from a pleasure sesh. Trust us, getting clean can save you a lot of trouble in the long run.

So, start by using the bathroom an hour before you play to evacuate any poo. Then, wash your hands and your anus. It might be easiest to just jump in the shower (warm, soapy water can be a great way to get in the mood, anyway).

Douching is completely optional. It helps to clear out any lingering feces, but hey, we’re human. If it doesn’t bother you or your partner, you can skip it. If you do want to douche, follow the instructions carefully to avoid irritating your delicate backdoor. Check out our guide on how to douche safely.

Warm up and relax

Relaxing can help you enjoy any sexual experience, but relaxing the muscles around the anus and rectum can make prostate play more enjoyable. If you’re tensed up, it’s going to be really difficult, and maybe even painful, to insert anything into the anus.

So how can you relax? Get comfortable in bed, close your eyes, and take some slow, deep breaths. Breathing slowly and steadily can help lower your heartbeat and loosen your muscles. You can set the mood with some candles, watching porn. Whatever helps you get turned on. You can even try masturbating or touching other erogenous zones to get aroused.

Find your prostate

The prostate is part of the male reproductive system and is a small chestnut-sized gland. You can find it by inserting a well-lubricated finger into the anus. It should feel firm and smooth. “For prostate orgasms, you can stimulate the prostate internally or externally,” says Javay.

External massage

Even though the prostate is inside your body, you can massage it from the outside if you’re not into penetration. You can do this in two ways: manually with your fingers, or by using a toy.

The area of skin between the genitals and anus is called the perineum, or taint. The part closer to the scrotum and penis should feel firmer. As you move back towards the anus, it should feel softer. This is the area you want to massage, because it’s closest to the P-spot. Try stroking it, pressing gently, or rubbing it with your fingers.

You can also press an external vibrator to the taint. Play around with the pressure and vibration intensity to find out what feels good.

Internal massage

The prostate is about two inches inside the rectum. No need to overthink it — if you were to stick your finger inside the anus, it’s about two knuckles deep.

It’s located near the bladder, so when you touch it, you might feel like you suddenly have to pee. That’s a good sign you’re in the right place. Keep reading for more pleasure tips.

Stimulate your prostate

Whether you’re using a finger or a toy, make sure you’re using plenty of anal lube. Anal lube is thicker and lasts longer than regular lube (a must when the anus doesn’t make its own lubricant, as the vagina does).

Once you find the prostate, try these techniques to stimulate it:

• “Come here” technique: Move your finger in a “come here” motion against the prostate, as though you’re beckoning someone over. Use different speeds to find out what feels the best.

• Warm, wet circles: Use the fleshy part of the finger to stroke around the prostate, moving in circles around the gland. Try out different pressures and speeds as you feel the sensation building. You can do this technique externally on the taint using a lubricated finger or your partner’s tongue.

• Doorbell technique: Put your ding-dong ditch skills to good use. Press on the prostate like you’re ringing a doorbell. As with the others, experiment with pressures and speeds — pressing quickly or holding the pressure for several seconds.

Use anal sex toys

Adding in anal sex toys can give you pleasure your hands wouldn’t dream of. If you’re new to them, try a small, non-vibrating butt plug first. Butt plugs are easy to use, and exploring anal masturbation toys can help you get used to the sensation of something in your booty.

As you become an anal play connoisseur, level up to a vibrating or thrusting toy, like a prostate massager. These top-of-the-range toys are carefully designed to easily reach the prostate. They come with different speeds and pulses, and some have external stimulators for the taint. Get more tips in our anal sex toy guides.

User MattWillTry on our forum offers another idea: “I find that G-spot targeted toys can also work well for targeting the prostate/P-spot, since they’re in relatively similar locations for each anatomy.”

Explore prostate play with a partner

There’s lots of advice about how to have anal sex, but prostate play with a partner might be new for you. Just as with all consensual sex, communication is key to let your partner know what feels good. Be open and honest, and don’t be afraid to use your voice if you’re not digging something.

If you’re the penetrating partner, go slowly (very, very slowly) when using your finger or a toy in the anus, and use plenty of lube. Make sure your nails aren’t long or ragged, because ouch. If you’re the one being penetrated, tell your partner how the sensation feels and let them know if something is uncomfortable.

“The Lovehoney Unisex Strap-On Kit is a great set for people new to pegging,” says Javay. You can adjust the harness, and the kit comes with a seven-inch curved dildo. It’s a great choice for stimulating the prostate, Javay adds. Try this if your partner doesn’t have a penis but you both love the idea of them penetrating you.

You can get on all fours with your partner behind you, or they can sit behind you while you lie on your side with your top leg pulled to your chest. Missionary is also a great anal sex position for first-timers, thanks to lots of reassuring eye contact and intimacy.

Resist self-pleasure if you want a dry orgasm

A “dry” prostate orgasm happens through anal play alone. Your penis may not even be erect when you climax, and you definitely won’t ejaculate. The fluid in the prostate builds up but, the goal is to avoid ejaculating out of your penis so you can experience the full-body, wave-like sensations of a prostate orgasm.

On our forum, user aliochamarchand says: “That’s why I always ask my men to block my hands while I’m about to cum because it’s so powerful when you ejaculate without even touching yourself. Anal between men is so good!”

But there’s no pressure to stick to that type of pleasure alone! Combining any sort of self-pleasure with stimulating the P-spot is A-okay. It’s your orgasm — do what makes you feel good.

Aftercare

Having a prostate orgasm can be OMG worth it, but delicious things rarely come easy (no pun intended). You might be tired and a little vulnerable after. You might feel like you could sleep for hours. Whether you're solo or with a partner, take some time for aftercare: cuddle, breathe quietly, or get in the shower under warm water.

Talk with your partner about what you liked, what you want to try differently next time, or if you even want a next time. No matter what’s on your mind, it’s important to communicate with your partner so you’re both on the same page.

Clean up

Get into the habit of cleaning any sex toy right away after use. When you’ve recovered and you’re ready, wash any toys in warm, soapy water or use a sex toy cleaner.

Wash your hands (remember: bacteria). Or, accomplish two things at once by just hopping in the shower and cleaning up. And it’s okay if you made a little mess of the bedsheets or towels. Pop those in the wash while you’re at it.

Well, okay, there isn’t going to be one perfect prostate massager. The best prostate massager for you is the one that makes you smile or makes you breathe a little faster the next time you reach for it. IYKYK.

A good prostate massager (really, anal sex toys in general) has a flared base so they don’t get lost in the rectum, and are made from high-quality, body-safe materials like silicone.

Here are a few we recommend:

Lovehoney Booty Buddy Silicone Butt Plug – best for beginners

The Booty Buddy Silicone Butt Plug has a simple design with no extras to intimidate a curious beginner. It’s small enough to insert without pain or discomfort. With the T-bar base, you can rest assured it’s really not going to disappear into the abyss.

“When you insert it, it sits directly on the prostate, which, when switched on, gives powerful waves that you feel throughout your body,” says a reviewer called Pikachudylan, who gives the Booty Buddy a thumbs up.

Plus, it’s affordable despite being made from high quality, body-safe silicone, so it’s a good starter before you commit to a more high-tech toy.

We-Vibe Vector+ – when you’re ready to level up

If you’re looking for more advanced prostate play, try the We-Vibe Vector+ prostate massager. It has deep, rumbly vibrations using We-Vibe's advanced motors and is made of high-quality silicone. Use it on yourself or your partner, both internally and externally, for blended stimulation.

The Vector+ comes with an app and remote control so you can pleasure your partner even miles apart. One reviewer called Dngdll noted: “It literally had me shaking, giving me the most amazing dry orgasm I have ever had!”

And for budget-conscious sexpots, try the Lovehoney Ignite, which offers plenty of vibration but still at an accessible price point.

So, what exactly is the hype about prostate orgasms? It turns out, people have plenty of thoughts on why P-spot orgasms blow their mind.

How does it feel?

Prostate orgasm can feel different compared to penis orgasms. And hint: Many people think P-spot orgasms are way better.

People describe them as “full body orgasms,” with wave after wave of deep and satisfying pleasure. These orgasms are often compared to the longer-lasting G-spot orgasms that vagina owners can have. Because you’re not ejaculating, you don’t have a waiting, or refractory, period before you can come again. In other words: You can have multiple orgasms.

For instance, anal expert JMS55 on our forum explains, “Unless I’m being stimulated anally, my orgasms seem just so-so. Orgasms while my prostate is stimulated or I’m being pegged are out of this world, and it’s to the point where it’s almost a letdown if I’m not anally stimulated in some way during sex.”

What are the benefits?

Need some extra convincing? Prostate orgasms bring plenty of relationship and sexual health benefits, such as:

• A way to explore new sensations

• Deeper pleasure

• Multiple orgasms (need we say more?)

• Connection with a partner thanks to vulnerability and exploring new sensations together

There might also be some health benefits of prostate orgasms. Prostate milking is a term that means massaging the prostate until a milky fluid comes out of the penis (technically, semen without the actual sperm). It may help with symptoms of prostatitis, or prostate inflammation, but there isn’t a ton of evidence.

How long it takes to have a prostate orgasm depends on your unique body and preferences. We’re not going to lie: A prostate orgasm all on its own (no penis masturbating) can take a while for a lot of people.

User MattWillTry explains that it takes 30 minutes to an hour of prostate stimulation for him. “I’ve never really been able to get a prostate orgasm from just one of the vibrating massagers. It still isn’t ‘easy’ for me to reach a prostate orgasm. It definitely takes time and patience, so don’t get discouraged!”

As we said, everybody is different. If you’re having a hard time reaching orgasm from prostate play, try taking a break to rest before trying again. But try not to feel pressured to orgasm this way. In a perfect world, you’ll just spend time enjoying the sensations and have fun trying!