How to Use a Butt Plug

In this guide: What is a butt plug? | Why people like them | How to choose one | How to use one | Getting used to it | Safety advice

Have you been curious about the world of butt plugs and other anal play, but would die of embarrassment asking your friends? We’ve got you. Let’s bust a myth right here, right now: Butt plugs are for everyone. If you have a butt, you can use a butt plug.

And if it turns out not to be your thing, no problem! But if your interest is piqued and you want to know more, here’s what you need to know to get started.

So how do you go from booty newbie to master of anal? We asked Javay Frye-Nekrasova, sex educator at Lovehoney, to share her expert advice. In this guide, we’ll explain how to properly use a butt plug, why they’re so popular, and how to choose your first one.

Only got time for a quickie?

Impatient to get to the good stuff? Here’s the quick and dirty version:

• Butt plugs are sex toys that you insert into the anus. You can use one for anal play or to prepare for anal sex — or both!

• Use alone or with your lover. You can use a butt plug to liven up solo play or coupled sex.

• Hygiene is key. Remember, cleanliness is necessary — douching is optional. Wash your toy (and your hands) after use, and if you want, you can try and poop before play for your peace of mind.

• Safety first. Only use a butt plug that has a flared base to avoid the panic of “now you see it, now you don’t.”

• Always use the lube. It's much easier to put in a butt plug when you use anal lube. The extra glide will help avoid injury too.

• Start out small and slow. Try out the smallest, smoothest plug before moving on to the larger, textured ones. Take your time and stop if you feel pain.

A butt plug is a sex toy that you can put into the anus. Because an anus is quite snug, many butt plugs have a narrow tip that gradually gets wider. A good butt plug has a flared base at one end, because no one wants to make an emergency room visit for a butt plug that got lost...

Some butt plugs vibrate for added zing. They also come in different sizes and textures from small and sleek to OMG and ribbed-for-your-pleasure. You may even find one with a pretty jewel at the base because everyone can use more bling in their life.

A butt plug can give you a feeling of fullness — and that can heighten your sexual experience, explains Javay. “Just like other erogenous zones, the anus has a lot of nerve endings that can experience pleasure,” she says. That’s true for anyone with a butt, but especially men who have a prostate.

The prostate is a walnut-sized gland that sits behind the rectum of people with male anatomy. If that’s you, a butt plug will press against this sensitive pleasure zone and may even give you a mind-blowing prostate orgasm (you lucky duck).

“Butt plugs are also great for anal training and gradually working your way up to girthier toys or penetrative anal play.” So, if you’re curious about anal sex, pegging, or large dildo play — start with a butt plug first.

Ready to take the plunge, so to speak? If you’re new to anal play, it’s best to get your body comfortable with the experience before you try anything too advanced.

• Start with a small toy, like the BASICS Slimline Butt Plug, which has tapered end and slender neck – as well as a flared base, of course!

• Find one with softer materials like silicone, as it’ll be easier to wear than metal or glass.

• Consider getting an anal training kit, as it’ll help you work your way up with a variety of toy sizes. Javay recommends the Lovehoney Bumper Booty Bundle.

Got your first butt plug? Congratulations! It’s OK to be nervous, but we have you covered. Here’s how to play with your plug.

Clean up first

The butt can be a place of heightened pleasure, but it’s also generally not the cleanest. You want to avoid spreading germs from your anus to other parts of your body (as well as protecting your rectum from infection).

Some people like to douche before anal play, which involves squirting water into your anus to wash out the poop (here’s how to douche safely). Douching is totally optional, but hygiene isn’t. Wash between your butt cheeks with warm water and mild soap (a shower is a convenient way to do this). Don’t forget to wash your hands, too.

Get relaxed and aroused

While masturbating to stimulate a clit or penis can be done rather spontaneously, using a butt plug shouldn’t be rushed. It’s easier to insert one when your muscles are relaxed, so don’t skip the foreplay.

Here are some ideas for getting in the mood:

• Take a warm bath (which is a 2-for-1 to get clean!)

• Have your partner give you a massage or oral sex

• Touch and stroke other pleasure points like the clit, scrotum, or nipples

• Read an erotic book, listen to a sexy audiobook, or watch porn

Apply plenty of lube

We recommend lots of lube for any sort of sexual experience, but with anal play, it’s always important to use it. Anal lube is thicker and lasts longer (before needing to reapply) compared to regular lube.

Apply lube to both your anus and the butt plug, and don’t be afraid to be generous. Use more during play if needed. A water-based lube is best for use with sex toys because it won’t break down the silicone material.

Insert your butt plug

All right, here we go. Go at your own pace and take some deep breaths so you’re as relaxed as possible. Gently touch the tip of the plug to your hole and press it inside. You might have to twist the butt plug (gently!). Insert the butt plug all the way but stop if you feel any pain.

If it’s your partner doing the placing, tell them to go slowly and let them know if they need to pause or back off.

Explore the new sensations

It might take you a moment to get used to that feeling of fullness from a butt plug. When you’re ready, try squeezing your butt muscles and pay attention to how it feels.

Explore masturbation and notice if it feels different with a butt plug inside. Stimulating other body parts like your penis, clit, nipples, or the inside of your thighs can also provide more pleasure.

“You can also heighten the experience by adding sensations like vibration or rimming,” adds Javay. Introduce this gradually, as a beginner.

Wear it during sex

Butt plugs aren’t just for anal masturbation or penetration. You can also use it during penis-in-vagina (PIV) sex. For instance, butt plug fan JMS55 on our forum says, “It’s a great feeling. We do PIV quite often with both of us wearing butt plugs. If [it] vibrates, even better.”

Using a butt plug can heighten other sexy zones like the clit or scrotum. Really, whatever position feels comfortable for you and your partner works. Try these sex positions:

• Doggy Style: Get on all fours, either on the bed or floor and have your partner penetrate your vagina from behind. Lovehoney Forum member Hubby.and.Wife says they regularly use a butt plug in Doggy Style because “it makes us both cum harder.”

• Side-lying: Lying on your side with your partner behind you can help relax your muscles.

• Reverse Cowgirl: Straddle your partner while facing away from them. This can give you a good angle for stimulation (and a way for your partner to see your jeweled plug!) Forum user KentCouple1990 says, “We do this quite often as we’ve got one with a pink jewel in it, so I’m often staring.”

Gently remove the plug

Relax and pause to rest before slowly removing your toy. Don’t panic if it feels stuck. Those are your sphincter muscles working like they should! Give your muscles more time to loosen up, as you rest and apply lube to the anus. When you’re ready, gently push like you’re trying to poop. Try not to strain too hard as this increases the risk of anal fissures (tiny tears inside the anus).

If you do see a small amount of blood on the plug, you’reprobably OK. You can take a bath with warm water to help heal any fissures. Wait a few days before you insert anything inside you again, and always keep your toys clean.

And hey, if you can’t remove it, or the plug gets lost in the anus, now is not the time to be a hero. Get yourself to the emergency room for removal. You wouldn’t be the first one.

Clean your butt plug right away

Be diligent in cleaning the butt plug right away. “The anus can get messy, and there’s bacteria in there that you don't want to introduce to other parts of the body,” explains Javay. It’s also susceptible to small tears, which could get infected if you don’t keep yourself and your toys clean.

To clean your toy, you can usually use warm water and mild soap or sex toy cleaner. Rinse your toy well before letting it dry. For anal toys, it’s also recommended to sanitize them after cleaning. Your toy should come with instructions on how to do this, as it varies depending on the material and type of toy. However, if it’s made of silicone, metal, or glass and has no electrical components, you can boil it in water for 3 minutes.

A butt plug (and any anal sex toy) can take some getting used to.

• Start small with a well-lubed finger or a smaller toy with a tapered end.

• Take a break after a few minutes. If you’re new to anal stimulation, don’t leave a butt plug in for longer than 30 minutes.

• Avoid vibrations until you’re ready. Vibrations might be too intense for your first few times.

• Try out a butt plug alone before introducing a partner. It’s kind of like rehearing your lines before the big show.

• Wear your plug during masturbation. The added stimulation can be a great distraction while you get accustomed to that full feeling.

• If you don’t completely hate it after the first time (and it’s fine if you do), keep at it. It should get more comfortable the more you use it.

Yes, butt plugs are safe, provided you use them with care. Here are some things to keep in mind:

• If you have a prostate condition, hemorrhoids, or anal fissures, don’t use a butt plug — or at least talk with your healthcare provider first.

• Keep the toy clean, by washing it with warm soap and water after every use. We don’t recommend using anal toys in the vagina, so if you choose to, cover the plug with a condom after washing, including if you insert it into another partner (share love, not germs, and all).

• Use lube. This bears repeating. The anus doesn’t have self-lubrication like the vagina, so dry insertion can cause tears (in both senses of the word!) and soreness.

• Stop if anything feels uncomfortable. Don’t use numbing cream because pain is your body’s way of telling you to back off.

• Consenting to play with butt plugs isn’t the same as consenting to anal sex. Be sure your partner knows what is or isn’t off limits.

• Don’t keep butt plugs in for longer than 2-3 hours.

How long can you wear a butt plug?

Look at your butt plug’s instructions. Some can be used for half an hour, while some can be worn for two to three hours. When you’re first starting out, it might be most comfortable to only use a butt plug for a few minutes at a time, and work your way up.

Can you sleep with a butt plug in?

No, you shouldn’t sleep with a butt plug in. Your anus is a sensitive area, so wearing a butt plug too long can get uncomfortable or even cause sores or damage.