Which Vibrator Gives the Fastest Orgasms?

on Oct 14, 2018

We've all been there. You wake up from an erotic dream that's left you tingling all over. It would be a shame to 'waste' such incredible imagery – but you've got to be dressed and out the door in ten minutes.

A scenario like this is my own personal DEFCON 3. What you need in times like this, ladies, is a super-speedy orgasm - and to get one, I highly recommend that you reach for a vibrator.

Perfect for novices as well as experts, vibrators come in a huge variety of shapes and sizes. They're a fun, non-intimidating sex toy and they're easy to use. However, trying to decide which one will make your toes curl in record time can feel overwhelming.

Luckily, Lovehoney has got you covered. The Sexual Happiness People set out to uncover which vibrator gives the fastest orgasms. The world's luckiest guinea pig? It was me.

Hey, it's a tough job but someone's got to do it!

But what about the variables?

In the interest of science, I began my research by determining how long it normally takes for my own train to arrive at the station – if you get my drift.

My average was 5 minutes and 10 seconds (finally, some maths I've found applicable to everyday life!) With this new-found knowledge, I boldly began the experiment.

5th: The Dream Bullet 10 Function Vibrator

Time: 4:29 minutes

Sure, the Dream Bullet 10 Function Vibrator came fifth – but it still smashed my average orgasm time out of the park and that's why I'd still highly recommend it.

Firstly, let me talk to you about this vibe's tapered tip. Not only is 'tapered tip' fun to say (go on, say it, you know I'm right), it is incredibly fun to use! You can pinpoint exactly where you want to concentrate its powerful vibrations – and you best believe that is exactly what I did to achieve such a fast time!

It was ideal for clitoral stimulation, and it was also exceptionally good at lighting up other erogenous zones like my breasts and inner thighs. This silky-smooth bullet vibrator is small but mighty, and that's what I loved about it.

This the perfect vibe to take with you when you travel or when you go home for the break.

4th: The Super Smoothie Classic Vibrator

Time: 4:25 minutes

When I found out that this insertable vibrator was also waterproof, I could hardly wait to dive right in the deep end! It certainly was an oxymoronic experience to feel so dirty whilst bathing (and I urge you to try it ASAP).

I'd never had the pleasure of trying an insertable vibrator before, but the Super Smoothie is oh-so beginner-friendly. True to its name, this vibe is ultra-smooth to the touch. It's so addictively smooth that, if you're a very tactile person like me, it becomes difficult to stop touching it.

To really tease out an incredible climax, I go for fast, powerful intensity one second, and then back things off the next. The twist base was perfect for doing just that; it was excellent for quickly setting the vibe to the speed I needed.

4.25 seconds is pretty darn fast for me – my toes didn't even have time to even think about getting pruney before I was making some serious waves in the bath! I felt like some sort of mermaid sex goddess.

3rd: The USB Rechargeable Mini Magic Wand Massage Wand Vibrator

Time: 3:33 minutes

I must confess, my body is already extremely partial to wand vibrators. I've always adored them because they never fail to deliver an earth-shattering climax. I also LOVE rechargeable toys, and the Mini Magic Wand Massage Vibrator gets a big tick of approval for its USB capabilities.

Wow. Talk about getting your socks knocked off. I didn't even have time to work the scroll wheel up to full speed when I first used it, the vibrations from the comparatively lower settings were that powerful.

The head of the vibe was so velvety-soft, and the flexible neck was ideal for working the vibrations into all the right sweet spots. I couldn't fault this amazing wand when it came to speedy orgasmic-power.

2nd: Mantric USB Rechargeable G-Spot Vibrator

Time: 3:27 minutes

Can we all just take a second to acknowledge the handiwork that has gone into this incredible piece of technology?

There are literally LED lights in this internal vibrator that correspond to its seven different modes of vibration! Ladies and gentlemen, the future is here - and it gave me an orgasm in 3.27 seconds flat.

The bulbous tip of the vibe played a major role in setting this rapid time – it really does stimulate the G-spot like no other toy I have ever tried before. Aesthetically, there is real intention apparent in the beautiful design of this vibrator. I felt extremely pampered whilst using it (even though I only lasted three and a half minutes!).

1st: Dream Rabbit Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator

Time: 2:19 minutes

Readers, meet your champion.

Up until now, the only rabbit I'd ever encountered was the albino dwarf lop I kept as a child – so it's safe to say I didn't know what to expect when I unboxed the Dream Rabbit Thrusting Vibrator.

This breed of rabbit has celebrity status thanks to Sex in the City, but I'd always been sceptical of the hype. However, the promise of blended orgasm was just too good to pass up, so down the rabbit hole I went.

The combination of the pneumatic shaft and the quivering rabbit ears was phenomenal. The shaft was also the perfect girth for me. Applying a generous amount of lube to the head meant I was able to turn it on, and then insert it with ease.

There are three ear speeds, and the moderate setting was more than enough to send me over the edge. In 2 minutes and 19 seconds, I was converted.

Sometimes, you just need to stop what you're doing and give yourself a mind-blowing orgasm. Other times, you need to stop what you're doing and give yourself a mind-blowing orgasm - fast.

When you need to choose the latter over the former, reach for one of these speed demons. You'll never be running late again!

Audrey Andrews is a student blogger for Lovehoney. In her spare time she loves to do craft, but would not advise knitting your own condoms.

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Written by Audrey Andrews.

Originally published on Oct 14, 2018. Updated on Aug 5, 2020