How to Give a Good Blow Job

How to Give a Good Blow Job

by Lindsay

on Aug 25, 2021

Ahh, fellatio. The humble blow job. The penis-pleasing cousin of cunnilingus. If you're looking for tips on how to give a good blow job, you've come to the right place.

how to give a blow job

Now, there's no one piece of advice that will magically make your blow job game completely unbeateable. Blow jobs are different for everyone: what one person likes, someone else might hate. That's the way it is with most things sexy.

That said, just like with cunnilingus, there are a few tried and true blow job techniques that have been found to perk up most penises. We're here to share those techniques with you so you can become a blow job master.

A forking fantastic fellatio-er, if you will.

What is a blow job?

Known formally as fellatio, the blow job is referred to by many names, including BJ, blowie, going down on someone, giving head and oral sex for men. Put simply, a blow job is when one partner gives their partner's penis some sensual attention with their mouth.

Blow jobs can be a form of steamy foreplay, a way to sneak in a quickie that doesn't involve getting completely naked or just a fun sexual treat you both enjoy.

What does a Blow Job Feel Like?

The penis is full of pleasurable nerve endings, and most people generally enjoy having those nerve endings stimulated, whether by sex or oral stimulation. Mouths are warm, wet and occupied by one of the most powerful muscles in your body – the tongue – so they're great tools to use as part of sexual pleasure.

Particularly sensitive parts of the penis include the glans or head (both with and without foreskin), the frenulum (the elastic connective tissue on the underside of the penis shaft, right below the corona/ridge), the scrotum and testicles, and the perineum (the bit of skin between the anus and the scrotum).

When they are stimulated by the mouth and tongue, it can feel pretty incredible. Each area can bring a different sensation making them great to focus on individually and all together while giving a blow job.

Preparing to give a good blow job

The best way to prepare to give a blow job is to want to give a blow job. Feeling relaxed and aroused can help you get excited about giving your sexual partner pleasure. Start off with a makeout session and some heavy petting to get yourself in the mood and then work your way downtown.

If this is the first time you’ll be giving them oral sex, it’s always worth asking the question of whether they want you to first. A sexy “do you want me to go down on you?” or “can I see what you taste like?” will never go astray. Plus, 99% of the time they are going to give you a big fat “YES PLEASE”.

You’ll also want to drink lots of water if you are planning on giving head later - a dry mouth during oral isn’t fun regardless of whether you’re giving or receiving.

TV biting

15 tips on how to give the best blow job

When it comes to fellatio, different people with penises will like different things, so if it's your first time going down on your partner, take a moment to ask how they like to be stimulated. They'll know their own body best, after all, and by communicating with them, you'll be in a better position to make them feel amazing.

If they've never had a blow job before – and don't know what they'd like or dislike – or you just want to know how to give a good blow job, you can try following these tips to start you off.

1. Get your head in the game

While we’re all for doing whatever comes naturally to you in the bedroom, going into a blowie with a bit of purpose is always a good idea. Are you going to get in there with lots of lube and put your lips to work on the tip or are you going to start slower with just your tongue making its way up and down the shaft?

Decide on a game plan but be flexible. Get a sense of what the receiver is responding well to and do more of that.

How to Give a Good Blow Job - Get Into Rhythm

2. Get into a rhythm

Take your time getting down there and don't jump into sucking straight away; instead, begin by kissing around the penis and then lightly licking it up and down.

Make some exploratory motions with your tongue, focusing your attention in the head and frenulum.

After you've started steaming things up with licks, sucks, and touches, you should settle into a consistent rhythm. Begin slow and gradually get faster for the best results.

TV Lube

4. Mix it up

Combining oral sex for men with a handjob can have show-stopping results. Think of your hands as an extension of your mouth and use them to rub the shaft while you focus your oral attention on the head.

If you're feeling particularly dexterous, add a slight rotation to your hand movements as you rub up and down the shaft to make your partner go wild.

Don't forget to use your hands and mouth elsewhere too. Try massaging your partner's thighs if they're laying down or grabbing their ass to pull them towards you if they're standing up.

How to Give a Good Blow Job - Mix It Up

5. Work with different angles

You know the hand and mouth signal they use in movies to symbolise a BJ? You might use this move all the time but if it’s not something you’ve tried before, add it to your oral sex skills repertoire ASAP. The smooth texture of the inside of your cheek is very different to the back of the mouth and tongue and adds dynamic sensations to your session.

Don’t stop the experimentation there, try underneath your tongue, the roof of your mouth and the back of the throat to see what works and drives your lover crazy.

If you decide you’d like to deep-throat their dong, firstly, don’t feel like you have to, secondly, don’t rush into it and thirdly, relax your throat muscles.

How to Give a Good Blow Job - Don't Forget the Balls

6. Don't forget the balls

Testicle tickling isn't for everyone, but many people love it. Try licking, sucking and gently cupping the balls with your hands while performing fellatio.

Be sure to listen carefully to your partner's response and be very gentle – balls are sensitive. Avoid using your teeth.

tennis balls hand

7. And the perineum!

The skin between the balls and the anus is called the perineum and is a great erogenous zone to stimulate and massage with your fingers when going down on someone. These moves are about covering all the bases to discover the tricks which your partner goes crazy for whether they know it yet or not.

How to Give a Good Blow Job - Eye Contact

8. Consider eye contact

Don't spend the entire time staring your partner down, but making eye contact at a few choice moments can be both arousing and intimate. Take the penis deep into your mouth then look up into your partner's eyes while you slowly pull back, or while you lick the length of the shaft.

Just keep in mind that they might be too busy enjoying your BJ skills to notice at first.

9. Give your tongue a workout

Your tongue is one of the keys for giving amazing head - use it.

As we spoke about earlier, licking the length of the shaft is an epic way to start and break up some penis pleasuring but you can use your tongue throughout the whole time. Try flicking, holding pressure or swirling it on the tip of the penis and the sensitive frenulum while your lips are wrapped around the shaft.

You can move your mouth up and down the shaft simultaneously with these movements or if your jaw is getting sore, give it a break while your tongue and hands do the work for a bit.

How to Give a Good Blow Job - Be Enthusiastic

10. Let them know you’re having a good time

Enthusiasm can be the thing that makes or breaks a blowjob. Ask anyone with a penis – your technique can be impeccable, but if you don't seem like you're enjoying yourself, it's just not going to be great head.

There's no need to go overboard with fake moans, but some enthusiasm can make it a 10/10 experience for your partner. Plus, a little hum along the shaft will rarely go awry.

11. Talk to them

If you’re not sure you’re on the right track with your moves, ask your lucky lover if what you are doing is their cup of tea. A simple “do you like that?” or “tell me what you like” will open the floor to them to give you some guidance if you need it. If they tell you to keep going, keep going.

On a similar note to tip 10, sometimes there’s nothing hotter than being told how good you taste. It helps the receiver to relax and shows them everything about the situation is a turn on for you too.

Please note: We’re not saying you need to strike up a full conversation while your head is in their nether regions. Keep it to a minimum.

66595_a36140_clear_000

12. Add a toy to the mix

Your mouth probably does wonders on its own but bringing in a toy will take your BJ game to a whole new orgasmic level.

Try holding the Lovehoney Head Master Double Texture Blow Job Stroker in your hand, stroking up and down or twisting it at the base while you lick, suck and caress the tip and frenulum with your mouth. This is an excellent technique for anyone but particularly if the receiver’s penis is on the larger side.

A finger vibrator will also do wonders here. Have your hand explore their sensitive spots while your mouth is working on their erect penis; touching the vibe to their nipples, stomach, inner-thighs, butt cheeks, perineum and on the outside of their anus (if that’s something they’re into).

13. Keep them guessing

You might have blowjob techniques which you know are guaranteed to leave your lover satisfied every time but that doesn’t mean you should follow the same recipe everytime.

Not knowing what your S.O. is going to do next when they go down on you makes blowjobs so much more exciting. Get creative with building anticipation, different positions and combinations and they won’t know what hit them.

Not sure what was hitting the spot? Ask your partner later on (not straight after) which moves ticked all the boxes and which might not have been up their alley.

14. Try some anal play

The area in and around the anus has a cocktail of nerve endings just waiting to be stimulated. Inside the rectum is also the home of the P-spot, a super sensitive area thanks to its close proximity to the prostate which when stimulated, can lead to explosive orgasms.

70101_a28501_black_004 (1)

Before venturing down into what could be unknown territory for them, ask your partner if it’s something they are open to exploring.

If it’s something they are new to, a simple finger massage around the rim is a good place to begin before moving on to anything internal. A butt plug or prostate massager will also do wonders here while keeping your hands free to tend to other areas. Make your blowjobs a full body experience and they won’t be easily forgotten.

15. Breathe!

It sounds simple but focussing on what your hands, tongue and mouth are doing while trying to keep your teeth out of the way and not choke all at the same time can make it easy to forget you need air. Find a way to keep breathing while you suck or take breathing breaks and let your hands takeover. Passing out is not how many people want this to end.

What NOT to do when giving a Hot BJ

Don’t rush

Flying full speed ahead on a mission to make your partner cum can be good if you’re strapped for time, however slowing things down to enjoy every moment of giving this pleasure is way more fun for everyone involved.

Be careful with your teeth

The skin of the penis is an extremely sensitive and thin area so coming into contact with hard things like teeth is a big no no. If you’re worried you won’t be able to avoid it, wrap your lips around your teeth or stick to the tip of the schlong while your hands look after the shaft.

Best positions for giving good blow jobs

Kneeling in front of your partner while they stand is a mainstay in porn, but there are plenty of other positions that give you great access and control over your partner's peen. If you are on your knees, spend time kissing their thighs first, keeping eye contact and building anticipation.

POTW-Mirror-Mirror-500x-2020 (1)

Mirror Mirror

You can also try lying on your back and let them lower their penis into your mouth – that way they have control over the depth and speed. This is a great position if you're a fan of power play, but it's important to make sure you're both comfortable with what's happening. If you're the one receiving fellatio, check in with your partner – especially if you're going deep – and establish a safe signal, like a double tap on a thigh, as you won't necessarily be able to easily speak.

Lazy lover

Alternately, have your partner lie down on the bed, then straddle one of their thighs – they'll be able to easily watch you while you go to town on their member. You could even cover both your bodies in massage oil, which will help your movements to become more fluid (plus it'll feel amazing for you, too).

And obviously, there's always the good ol' 69, if you can receive while you give and not lose momentum!

Blow job sex toys

If you're after solo-fellatio, you're in luck. There are loads of blow job simulators designed to effectively mimic the feel of a blow job with another person – check out just a few of our top picks.

Paired players, don't worry. There are plenty of toys available which are happy to join you during oral sex and add fun for both of you.

Blow job strokers

There are so many different oral sex simulators these days. There's the BlowYo toys, which are textured, open-ended, short strokers designed to feel like a mouth on your shaft. As a bonus, they're also a perfect size to add to oral sex with a partner.

You can also explore our dedicated blow job toys section, which includes a tantalising array of strokers both full-length and short. There are even a few options which warm or vibrate, like the Blowmotion Warming Rechargeable Male Masturbator.

41184_a26513_flesh-pink_004

Realistic Mouths

Realistic mouths are a little different to other blow job simulators, in that they look like a real mouth. Mostly this means they'll have lips and a long, deep canal you can use to fulfill some deep-throat fantasies, like the Doc Johnson Vicky Vette Blow Job Sucker Vibrating Masturbator.

More expensive realistic mouths might be pre-lubricated, have a warming function, or even include teeth, like the beloved Doc Johnson Super Sucker Masturbation Sleeve.

Lube – especially flavoured lube

Is there any sex act that lube doesn't improve? Sources say no, so it's in your best interests to always have some available, no matter which sexual activity you're enjoying!

You can use any type of lubricant you like for fellatio, but since one partner is going to be licking quite a lot of it, many couples enjoy using flavored lubes during oral sex. Why not pick up a set of multiple flavoured lubes like the Doc Johnson Good Head Flavored Lubricant 5 Pack and try out a whole host of flavours to make your peen even more dicklicious?

Lindsay

Written by Lindsay. Lovehoney Editorial Team
Lindsay has been Lovehoney's specialist sex toy writer since 2018.
Originally from Canada, Lindsay loves to champion diversity, support the LGBTQ+ community and celebrate all things sexuality.

Originally published on Aug 25, 2021. Updated on Nov 17, 2020
Share