Lovehoney Sex Expert Interview: Sunny Rodgers
Sunny Rodgers is a Certified Sex Coach, Clinical Sexologist, and serves as Ambassador for the American Sexual Health Association.
Since 2000, Sunny Rodgers has worked in the pleasure product industry, helping thousands improve their relationships and understand how pleasure products can enhance their sex lives.
She has made it her mission to help educate people on the intersection of pleasure products and sexual wellbeing.
Sunny uses her two decades of experience to help people reach their intimate goals and experience successful sex lives.
What does it mean to have a successful sex life and how can individuals and couples practise sexual well-being?
The concept of success is strongly related to our overall life plans. From a young age, we are coached by those around us that achieving success is an important life goal.
Most individuals believe that success is strictly limited to their business lives and don't put as much effort into their sex lives. Being sexually successful can help us grow personally and improve how we view ourselves.
But how can people start? By adding sexual health and wellness to their life balance plans. A sexual health and wellness plan is personal to each individual, but here are a few things that can help:
1 Remember that sex is healthy, both physically and emotionally.
2 Make quality time for sex, be it solo sex or partner play.
3 Don't be afraid to try new things.
I think it's that easy! Having regular sex can increase your life span – every time you reach orgasm your body releases DHEA, a hormone known to boost your immune system, improve cognition, keep skin healthy, and help you look younger, longer.
Orgasms also increase estrogen, which is essential for healthy, smooth skin. Plus, sex triggers the release of endorphins, the neurotransmitters associated with happy feelings that can improve overall mood, fight off depression and trigger a positive feeling in the body similar to morphine.
But having an orgasm doesn't always have to be the goal – intimate touch has been found to be one of the true healing sources. Sexual contact via intimate touch can elevate healing and connection for partners. According to the Journal of Holistic Nursing, hands-on healing has been found in cultures throughout history around the world and is also known as a biofield therapy. A few benefits of sexual touch are decreased pain and anxiety, and increased relaxation and a sense of wellbeing.
The best successful sex life advice I can give individuals and couples is to try and set two to three new sexual goals every New Year. This can be exploring a new fantasy, trying a new intimate pleasure product, or planning monthly sex dates with yourself or your partner.
Trust me, fulfilling these simple goals can lead to a satisfying, successful feeling that you'll want to repeat.
Tell us about being the Sex Toy Concierge and saving the world one orgasm at a time!
Okay, this is probably going to sound corny, but I vividly remember when my advice was responsible for another person's very first orgasm. It was back in 2000 when I had just entered the sex toy manufacturing industry and I had recommended a particular toy to a friend. She actually called me in tears because even though she had been married for years, she had never experienced an orgasm until she tried a vibrator. It was life-changing! And not just for her.
The feeling that I could really help people in such an intimate and personal way made me want to help everyone I could to have an orgasm! As I continued to expand my sexual health and wellness education, I found more and more people asking for my help in choosing the right sex toy for their needs.
Helping people discover the joys of intimate pleasure products has become my passion. I created Sex Toy Concierge so people would have a place to anonymously ask for advice from someone with a sexual education and almost 20 years of experience in the adult novelty manufacturing industry.
Plus, these answers would then be available online for others with the same questions and concerns. I can honestly say that being a Sex Toy Concierge is one of the most rewarding experiences I've ever had in my life.
In what ways can pleasure products change and improve a couple's sex life?
I've mentioned above some of the health benefits that sex can provide, and I believe that part of being sexually successful is continuously trying new things. And, since there are new pleasure products being launched all the time, there is always going to be a new one to try.
According to Huffington Post, most people very rarely try something new. But, research by Science Daily has found that new experiences trigger the release of dopamine, which is also called the 'happy hormone.' Dopamine also motivates people to continue wanting to try more new things!
So, you can see how trying something new and enjoying it can make a couple want to try more new sexual experiences. I also believe that sex play is supposed to be fun, and toys personify fun. Adding them to a couple's sex life can encourage playfulness, experimentation, and bonding.
One last thing to keep in mind - 75% of women can only orgasm via external clitoral stimulation, while in the U.S. alone, more than 30 million men have erectile dysfunction (ED) and can greatly benefit from the use of a cock ring. Pleasure products can take a couple's sex life to a greater level.
What are some of your very best tips to help couples fully express themselves to each other sexually?
It might not be easy, but it will be worth it! Improving sexual intimacy takes work. For couples to be able to fully express themselves to each other sexually takes a continual commitment to communicate and build a close bond, one step at a time.
Tip one is communication. Good communication can show each partner that they are safe with each other, which can help strengthen the trust needed to completely let emotional and sexual guards down in the bedroom.
The better the communication of likes, dislikes and fantasies is, the more exploration can be shared in a comfortable atmosphere. The better communication is between sexual partners, the better sexual experiences become. But not all communication has to be serious!
Tell your partner that sex feels good, that you'd like a faster rhythm, or that a good hair tug improves your orgasms. Communicating desires like these with your partner or even sharing dirty talk can take your sex life to the next level.
Sharing how aroused you are with your partner can benefit their self-esteem, and make them more apt to try something new with you. Confidence is sexy!
Creating an environment of open, beneficial communication can build confidence and enhance sexual experiences. True sexual intimacy needs trust to survive, and a person needs to feel as though their partner will keep all their secrets and will never harm their heart.Be gentle with each other and yourself. Share how you're feeling.
Don't expect this new level of intimate communication to grow overnight. Just like every other aspect of a good relationship, communication needs to be nourished to thrive. But the rewards of having good communication, especially with regards to sexual topics, are priceless.
Tip two is simple. The only moment we live in is the current one, so enjoy it! Promise yourself and each other that you'll practice mindful sex. This means being consciously in the moment during sex play, which can allow partners to intimately connect on a deep level. So keep those thoughts about work, family and life obligations out of your bedroom!
What's your favorite bedroom advice to give couples?
Have FUN! It's called sex play for a reason. And keep it interesting! Trying new things can keep sexual feelings fresh. One suggestion I often make is what I call 'sensory dates.' This means focusing on enticing your senses as a couple. Sometimes I'll recommend that a couple focus on only one sense for a date.
Sight: Visit a conservatory, see a show at an observatory, watch a sunset, or choose a beautiful new pleasure product to try!
Scent: Stroll through a farmer's market or a local botanical garden, or visit a perfumery where you can help each other mix your own personal scents.
Sound: Attend a concert in the park, take a music class together, or take a night-time tour of the zoo.
Touch: Take a finger-painting class, visit a museum where touching is encouraged, or have your palms read and then discuss the results.
Taste: I would recommend checking out Lovehoney's assortment of edible goodies. To heighten this sensory date, use a blindfold or eye mask. When one sense is limited, it heightens the other senses – which makes for a truly memorable experience!
To find out more about Sunny's work, visit CoachSunnyRodgers.com.
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