Sometimes it seems there can be a real 'us' and 'them' attitude, when it comes to vanillas (people who engage in conventional sex, often, it is interpreted as sex which does not involve such elements as BDSM, kink, or fetish activities) and kinksters (according to Wikipedia: "Kinky practices go beyond what are considered conventional 'vanilla' sexual practices as a means of heightening the intimacy between sexual partners.")
If you’re one you can’t be the other, right? You should never let it be known you occasionally associate with the opposing side… It’s also assumed if you’re on one side you think the other is less than worthy.
Breaking it down to basic stereotypes, vanillas think kinksters are scary and weird. Kinksters think vanillas are unadventurous and boring.
"Vanillas" might not be as open about sexual proclivities, but that doesn't mean what they do in private is much different from activities kinky people engage in. Crossing over to the kinky side is not necessarily black and white.
I can’t tell you how many times a self-identified vanilla has asked me, “How do I tell my partner I want some new things in bed? I’ve never told them I like some light spanks and nibbles. I’d love for them to take charge a bit more and be more demanding. I also really enjoy role-playing, but I don’t think I’m into, like, *makes the face* BDSM or anything. All that crazy stuff is just too freaky for me!”
I’m not sure what most people think BDSM is? Let’s break down the acronym and examine a few “other side” observations about BDSM.
Guest post by Sunny Megatron
The holidays are fast approaching and some of us are still scratching our heads as to what to get for everyone on our lists. With plenty of stockings to stuff there's still a bit more time to shop and get some goodies for December 25th* or whenever you like to celebrate.
Any gift is a nice thought, but adding a little something extra will help your gift to really impress. Even better for you if the little something extra is a freebee. You can use the goodies mentioned in our deals below to stuff stockings for the naughtiest and nicest boys and girls on your list. Enjoy these last minute, foolproof gift ideas all with a little something extra to offer.
Free sex toys, free shipping (FedEx Shipping is free too, when you spend over $160) and free returns. Seriously, it's going to be pretty hard to mess this one up. Yes, we offer gift wrap options too! (Pictured: Get a free sexy Night Before Christmas Bikini with this lovely and festive Seven Til Midnight Sexy Christmas Babydoll and Thong Set)
*Order with FedEx shipping before 8am (PST) 20 December - $15.95 or free when you spend $160. We recommend placing your order by the evening of the 19th.
The gift giving season is upon us! Sometimes with so many options out there it's really hard to know what to do. I wanted to put together some gift suggestions that everyone will love and enjoy into the new year and beyond.
We have so many deals going on right now I decided to take a moment and highlight some of the best ones, and hopefully give you some ideas about how to get the most WOW from your gifts, all within your shopping budget. Remember we always have free shipping and returns too (everyone's satisfaction is guaranteed!)
Plus, if you tell us in the comments below which of these sexy gifts you would love to give or receive you'll be entered to win: The Lovehoney Sexy Holiday Bundle worth $100!
Hard dildos are the best! They don’t necessarily have to be huge and they don’t necessarily have to be realistic… We just want them to be hard, rock hard, maybe unnaturally hard, but hey that’s why we’re here.
Hard toys provide undeniable resistance, fullness and pressure to hit all the right spots. They stay firm and don’t yield. They are eternally hard and always ready. Some hard materials like glass and metal have the added benefits of being shiny and gorgeous.
These hard materials can be easily cooled or heated with warm or cold water (never microwave or freeze a dildo before use, extreme temperatures are not pleasant on sensitive areas and burns can occur).
Betty Dodson, a pioneer of advocating female masturbation, has long combined a hard toy with a strong vibrator to help elicit some of the most powerful orgsams. While the vibrator takes care of clitoral stimulation, a hard dildo can provide resistance for clenching and flexing muscles. This is also a great way to learn about your body, and really feel the sensations and resistance from a firm toy.
I’d like to take a moment and focus on some of my favorite types of materials for dildos and yes they are all relatively hard: glass, metal and silicone.
It’s hard to believe that the Sqweel has only been in existence for three years. No sooner had we fallen for the softly rotating wheel of lapping tongues, the designers were dreaming bigger and better, listening to women’s wants and needs and creating the Sqweel 2, improving the toy’s speed, power and motion to give an even bigger range of blissful sensations.
The Sqweel is back and better than ever for round two! A lot of feedback, hard work and love went into this Sqweel update and we are so excited to share it with the world. Your satisfaction and sexual happiness is our main goal. The best way to make an informed decision about any sex toy is to ask the experts.
We took care of that and sent the Sqweel 2 out to some of the most thoughtful and outspoken sex educators and sex toy reviewers we could find.
Here’s what they have to say about Sqweel 2:
Through the years Halloween costumes have gone from fun for the whole family to super sexy outfits that allow us to really show off our fantasies and secret selves and sometimes might go a bit too far… (note: skanky-ween via the Bloggess).
Here at Lovehoney.com we wholeheartedly embrace costumes that have just the right amount of sexy while still staying classy, classic, sometimes functional, sometimes fictional and always fun.
Plus we have some great deals going on right now to make your Halloween shopping experience even sweeter.
Without further ado, let’s see if we can get you fitted for this month’s impending spooky soirees and events, maybe find something that we can add to our dress-up costumes for the entire year?
The Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, including Fifty Shades Freed, Fifty Shades Darker has been heating up bedroom and bathroom scenes since before Mother’s day. I’ve spoken with very few people who haven’t heard of this NYtimes bestseller and a much larger number (mostly women) who have. From my friends in the scene who tend to have their reservations and doubts, to the more vanilla in the bunch who have stories of receiving it from coworkers or friends of friends - many have had the steamy erotica cross their path.
Queerie Bradshaw suggests that the advent of the e-readers and the ability to read anything without the conspicuous cover showing has helped facilitate Fifty Shades’s pervasiveness. I think that helps but it’s not the whole story, as I’ve seen many photos of the physical paperback selling out in stores and posted on instagram as beach or airplane reading. For example, the woman sitting next to me on my recent flight home from NYC had no qualms about reading Fifty Shades Freed during the flight. I wish I had taken the opportunity to chat her up about the story’s appeal, but I’m not always so bold.
During my visit last week to Blogher in NYC I had the distinct pleasure (along with about 4,000+ other women) of meeting up with the lovely people from Trojan at their booth. They were happily sharing the love with the ladies of Blogher and passing out a ton of high-quality vibrators.
And they didn’t stop there. They took on the rest of NYC in none other than hot dog carts. Spreading their sexy mission, hold the mustard!
“Deploying two purple, hot dog-style "Pleasure Carts," Trojan reps will be distributing 5,000 of the Tri-Phoria… and 5,000 of the Pulse…”
Wow Trojan. I think you just made my ultimate pro-vibrator sex-positive promotional dreams come true. Seriously! I had a wonderful friend volunteer to give the Trojan a new home. Here's her take on the Tri-phoria…
Raise your hand if you love oral sex. Who doesn’t, right? Ok you can put your hand down now.
It’s true we love oral sex, seriously some of us can’t get enough. There are lots toys out there to fill most of our needs, but until Lovehoney invented the Sqweel, the soft, sweet feel of a tongue on our most sensitive areas was something we couldn’t pick up at the shop.
Could this be the ultimate oral sex toy? Many of us were pleasantly surprised to find that the toy brought realistic feelings and fulfilled our cravings for some sweet lapping.
Here at Lovehoney we’ve now improved on this already innovative and pleasurable adult toy. The Sqweel 2 is even better than the original and you don’t have to take my word for it.
Hi everyone! I’m Krista and I’m really happy and excited to be here. I'd like to tell you a bit about myself: I live in the bay area of sunny California. Oakland to be exact.
I love to curate blogs on Tumblr, find lovely things to look at on Pinterest, and I get most of my news from Twitter!
I have worked in the sex toy and adult products business for almost four years now. I absolutely love what I do and I absolutely love the nice people at Lovehoney for giving me the opportunity to spread the word in the US.
I'm here to help make the experience leading you to Lovehoney.com, as well as your time spent on the site, as fun and informative as possible. I'm doing my best to partner with thoughtful reviewers and bloggers to get great products and reviews to our-US based customers. I'm here to make sure everyone hears about them too!
I welcome any thoughts or questions you have for me! You can follow us or send me a tweet to pick up.